Rediscovering What Matters
by rmhale
Summary: A journal that Edward keeps leading up to his wedding detailing how he wants to show Jasper that he loves him in every way. E/J.
1. February 17, 2010

A/N: Okay…here is my thought behind this. I, crazy girl, gave up Starbucks for Lent. If you know me at all, you know that I go there everyday…sometimes twice. So…to help deal with my need for coffee, I have decided to write a journal that I will try to update daily, so the chaps will be short. It will be from EPOV and he is giving up something altogether different.

It is light, fluffy and fun…hope you like it.

Thanks to Zigster for her mad beta skills…I love that girl…

Thanks to JessDS and OnTheTurningAway planting the seed for this cute idea.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a desperate love for coffee, SM owns the rest.

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February 17, 2010

Forty days.

In forty days I would marry my best friend.

In forty days I would marry the love of my life.

In forty days, Jasper Hale would do me, Edward Cullen, the honor of becoming my husband, and I can't wait.

I have been in love with this man all my life. He is all I have ever wanted and all I will need for the rest of my life.

Today, when we set a date to finally join our names, I made myself a promise. We have been together since we were sixteen - the best seven years of my life - but, like in all relationships, real life takes over and the important things get cast aside.

My aim before our wedding day is to change all that, to rediscover all the things that matter most.

So, as of this day until I say "I do" to the gorgeous man that lays beside me every night, there will be no sex.

That's right, no sex!

This will be a time to reconnect the deepest part of our souls, to remember all the reasons we fell in love in the first place.

This is going to be the hardest fucking thing I have ever had to do. Am I fucking kidding myself? No sex? Fuck!

Rules, I must set rules that cannot be broken. I fucking love him so much, he's worth all of this. In his entire life, he will never feel this loved. It's going to be special and fun and absolute fucking torture.

Now, back to the rules.

No sex will mean just that, no sex. As in penetration.

This is going to be worse for me, because there is nothing better than having Jasper buried deep inside me while keeping his eyes locked with mine as he moves slowly.

Oh shit, this isn't helping, I need to stop thinking about it.

Where were we, oh yeah, back to the rules.

Rule number 1: No penetration whatsoever, but everything else is all systems go.

Rule number 2: Spend 30 minutes every day talking to each other about something other than work.

Rule number 3: Take him on a date once a week.

Rule number 4: Assure Jasper at least once a day that this is not a crazy idea and that he will be satisfied. I will make sure of it.

Rule number 5: Eat one meal a day together.

Rule number 6: Leave him a note somewhere everyday, make it a surprise.

Rule number 7: Pay special attention to one part of his body daily and tell him why part is loved so much. (This will be fun.)

Rule number 8: Go to bed at the same time as him every night. (This is going to be a hard one since I'm on the computer all the time.)

Rule number 9: Kiss him, every day, in every way. Just spend time kissing his amazing mouth. I still tremble when I look at his plump, lower lip.

Rule number 10: Write my vows during these 40 days.

So, my mission for the next 40 days is to make this man feel special, sexy, adored, loved and eager to marry me.

I'll be back to see you tomorrow and let you know how it all goes.

Wish me luck with my endeavor...

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A/n: Do you like this? Do you want me to do this for the next few weeks? (will be doing PSMW too)

Reviews are love...


	2. February 18, 2010

**A/N: You guys amaze me...I am so excited you want to take this journey with me...something has to get my mind off of the white and green cup that has been absent from my hand for two days now...so, thank you...**

**Thank you to my favorite girl OnTheTurningAway for fixing this for me...makes me want to beam the rainbow... heart you FW**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but really freaking cute Hello Kitty Jammies...SM owns the rest.**

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February 18, 2010

39 days left.

How did my first day go? Well, let's see...

It started off just like any other morning, tangled limbs and little Jasper nestled against me, hard and throbbing. Jasper ran his hands down my chest, once again normal, as he started grinding his hips against my ass. The lazy grin started to appear on my face, when all of a sudden I remembered...

Fuck, no sex!

So, to remain true and faithful to rule number one, I took the first of many cold showers. In the seven years we have been together, it was the first one I had ever had. It was awful, but it worked.

Now, did I stick to the rules? Let's review the ones that really meant something to me today...

Rule 1: There was absolutely no violation of that one; my ice bath took care of that. After this morning's almost slip-up, I made an addition to this rule.

1a) Boxers and lounge pants must now be worn to bed every night, no exceptions. It only takes one sleep induced fuck to mess this all up.

So far my first day without sex wasn't traumatic; a little painful, yes, but definitely not heart stopping.

We combined rules 2 and 5. I made breakfast for us, and we sat at the table together, eating while we talked. This went down as the highlight of our day. I can't remember the last time we sat down together in the morning, it's usually a quick peck over pouring coffee in a to go cup while racing out the door.

I can feel a dopey fucking grin on my face as I think about our breakfast conversation. We made a point not to talk about work. Instead, we talked about the first time we ever met. It is so sad that you tend to forget all the details that were so important to you back then.

Thinking about them all, I realize that I need to get them down in case I need to be reminded again one day.

_Jasper Whitlock...the day he moved to Forks, the entire school was buzzing at the prospect of getting a new student. All the girls hoped he was the next prom king and the guys hoped he was the next sports hero. Everyone was hoping to be his friend, boyfriend, lab partner... Me, I just wanted him to leave me alone. I was never one to draw attention to myself and being friends with the new boy certainly would. _

_When I got to the lunch room that day, I found out that the new boy was as wonderful as everyone hoped. Everyone was talking about him and now I was curious. I was kinda hoping that I would get to see him, that he would walk in and satisfy my curiosity. Lucky for me, he didn't disappoint and I now know that he never will. He became the center of my world from the moment he entered the cafeteria doors and I can't imagin__e my life without him.__  
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Now these are the important details of our first meeting...

_The first thing I noticed about him when he walked in were his eyes. They were piercing and intense as they scanned the room. I still, to this day, don't know what he was looking for because when they landed on me, my whole world was flipped. He was the first man I ever truly looked at and appreciated in a sexual light. I had never been attracted to any of the boys I grew up with. Seeing Jasper standing there that day, I experienced my first in school erection...it was the first of many._

_When he walked by my table, I watched him out of the corner of my eye, noticing his unnaturally tan skin tone in a sea of the pale bodies that made up Forks High School.__ His lips were full and red and his eyes were such a dark hue, that they were almost navy. When he turned and looked at me, I was in a daze. He was stunning. His smile was beautiful and I finally believed in love at first sight. _

_Now, the rest of the day may have gone by in a haze, but the first thing he said to me is something I will remember forever.__ When I was standing at my locker after lunch, he walked over to me, leaned against the door and told me, "My name's Jasper Whitlock...and you'll never forget me." He gave me the most adorable smirk and walked away...from that point on, I never have. _

Okay...thinking about all this is making me desperate to satisfy the beautiful Texas boy sitting in my living room. Thank goodness for the leeway in the first rule, because I was about to make him a very satiated man...

Until tomorrow...

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A/N2: For all of you who know me, you know that I lovingly and painstakingly respond to every review I have always gotten...even when you are upset with me, I do my best to fix it. That being said, if I am going to attempt to update this everyday...that will be impossible and I feel awful for it because I like responding, but I refuse to be generic in my responses and send everyone the same one. So...unless you ask something specific...you will probably not get a response from me, but every single one makes my heart melt...so thank you..

Reviews keep me going :-)


	3. February 19, 2010

**A/N: Thank you so much each and every one of you…you are making this so much easier for me. Now, I wrote this chapter while listening to my husband ramble about why Star Wars gave him goosebumps…so I drank a little bit to drown him out, alcohol makes me love boy love even more, so enjoy…**

**Thanks to everyone who helped me with the song, actually decided on the very first song my hubs and I ever danced to…**

**Thanks to my dear friend missjend for proof-reading this since my betas were passed out when I finally finished…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a Starbucks key chain that taunts me…SM owns the rest**

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February 19, 2010

Tonight, I took Jasper out on a real date, not just grabbing dinner quickly on the way home, but an honest to goodness, actual date. It was amazing, I think he may be falling even more in love with me, so my plan was working...

I wanted him to remember our first date, I was so nervous to ask him out back then, he was so confident and I just, wasn't. Being with Jasper over the years, my confidence had improved greatly, but it took a good three years before I stopped blushing every time he looked at me.

All I told him was to bring my favorite pants and shirt with him and I would handle the rest. It took me two days to put my plan into action, but the look on his face was totally worth it. Since we live in a city that is far away from Forks, I had to recreate this, Texas style.

We moved to Texas once we graduated from college, Jasper always missed it and I was never attached to Forks, Washington. Since it was a little cold and rainy today, I found a venue that had a private, heated gazebo that I could rent for the evening, it was going to be magical. I had it decorated in lights, had an iHome put inside and dinner would be there just minutes before we arrived. I couldn't wait to wine and dine the beautiful, golden boy that had captured my soul.

I picked him up from work, and when he walked out, I groaned out loud and cursed the motherfucking first rule. He was wearing a light blue button-down, rolled at the sleeves and black pants that made his frame look long and lean. He was absolutely fuckhot and he fucking knew it. My cock was straining behind my zipper and I rubbed my hand down the front of my pants, trying to relieve some pressure. It didn't work.

He got in the car with a knowing smirk, but it was quickly wiped off his face when I pulled out the black silk fabric that he used to tie me to the headboard a few nights ago. His eyes darkened with desire and it was my turn to grin as I blindfolded him and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on his lips. Our location was a secret, I wanted him to be surprised.

When we arrived, the sun had just started to set and everything looked beautiful. The gazebo was secluded and the shades were drawn down the sides to keep out the drizzle and the chill. I was so fucking excited. We walked carefully until we were right in front, then, I finally undid his blindfold. His ensuing grin could have lit up the night sky.

He turned and kissed me earnestly, I swept his mouth with my tongue quickly before pulling away and taking his hand. We walked in and sat at the table. That would satisfy many rules...

Rules 1, 2, 3, 5 and before the night was over 4 and 9 would be addressed as well.

We talked about our first date over dinner, reminiscing on all the awkward moments and lacing our fingers together when we talked about our favorite parts. Our first date was fucking epic, one for the books and we were going to experience it all again, with a special treat for my Texas boy at the end.

After dinner was finished,we drank a bottle of champagne with dessert.

On our first date, after dessert, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I could fall in love with you." My heart was his from that moment on, and he fucking knew it. Who gets lucky enough to meet the person they were meant to share a life with at sixteen? We did and I was so fucking ecstatic that he picked me.

When the conversation started to wane and we were looking into each other's eyes over the flickering flame of the candle, I decided it was time for his next surprise. I pulled him to his feet, pulled out the remote in my pocket and pressed play.

The strains of music surrounded us as the very first song we ever danced to played over the speakers, The Cure's acoustic version of "Love Song". When he looked at me, his eyes were piercing and wet with unshed tears. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around him and we began to sway gently. He whispered that he loved me in my ear while pulling me tighter to his lithe body. Holding each other as close as possible, we kept our faces pressed against each other as we danced to the song that meant so much to us. His body moved so perfectly against mine, they fit together in all the right places, they knew where home really was.

When the last "I will always love you" sounded around us, I laid my lips gently along his and kissed him deeply. Slipping my tongue inside his mouth, I savored the taste of champagne that lingered in his warm, wet mouth. He groaned and pulled my hips into his, holding me in place as he moved his cock along mine. My body was on fire and I needed him badly, but tonight was for him and about him.

Pulling my head back slightly, I sighed, "I love you", into his mouth, before walking him backwards towards the chair. He looked like he was about to speak as I pushed him gingerly into the chair, but I put my finger against his lips so he would keep quiet. Pulling the silk tie out of my pocket again, I reached around him and blindfolded him again. Placing a gentle kiss on each cheek, I then nibbled lightly down his jaw line before licking his lower lip. He tasted delicious.

My mouth continued down his neck, where I bit gently, causing him to moan out loud, his noises were the most beautiful music ever heard. Slowly undoing each button on his shirt, I carefully pulled it off of him and laid it on the ground. He was leaning his head back, and I reached down to grasp the hem of his undershirt. After removing that, I kissed my way down his chest, placing open mouth kisses in all my favorite spots before connecting them all together with my tongue. His hisses and grunts were like my own personal symphony and I savored each one.

When I reached the waistband of his pants, I undid the buckle and nipped my way across from hip to hip. His skin was fevered and trembling underneath my mouth as he groaned my name over and over again. Kneeling before him, I pulled down his zipper and exposed inch by glorious inch of his luscious cock. He never wore boxers, said they just got in the way. Pulling his pants down slightly, I lifted him out and wrapped my mouth around the head, licking the slit to remove the bead of nectar I was desperate to taste. He bucked straight into the back of my throat and plunged his fingers into my hair.

It had been two days since my boy had gotten off, so I knew he wouldn't last long, he needed sex as badly as I did. I gently cupped his balls and rolled them around the way I knew drove him mad and I moved my head up and down his dick, hollowing my cheeks for added suction. His hips were starting to thrust frantically and I knew he was close. Speeding up my movements, I tugged gently on his sac and moaned around him. His thigh muscles tensed and the he cried out my name as he came in hot, wet spurts down my throat and I kept my mouth around him until his hips stopped moving.

Taking one last suck, making sure I got it all, I finally sat back on my legs. I knew how wonderful he felt, he had blindfolded me several times and it heightened my other sensations every time. I loved it. He pulled off the blindfold and crawled down to the floor after fixing his pants and we laid down together on the hard floor, but we didn't care, we just wanted to hold each other right then.

It was the perfect end to a perfect date and I couldn't love him anymore than I did at that moment.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews are love…**

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	4. February 20, 2010

**A/N: I have had a couple of requests for JPOV...this is Edward's journal, Jasper will not be making any appearances besides what Edward writes...so we shall see how it goes through his eyes...**

**To all of you who have reviewed...thank you so much...you are so awesome! I need to do this to keep my focus off of that little green and white logo...so please stay with me :-)**

**Thank you to my favorite girl OnTheTurningAway for fixing not only my mistakes, but being a wonderful friend when I need her...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a love for caffeine...SM owns the rest.**

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February 20, 2010

After last night, it was going to be awfully hard to come up with some comparable dates, but it was one of the best nights of my life. When I danced with Jasper and held him close, I realized that he is the single most important thing in my life. All the other things meant nothing to me if Jasper wasn't in my arms.

This morning I made breakfast for us once again, and unlike the other morning, this meal was spent in near silence, just looking at one another and savoring the fact that no words were necessary, our eyes communicated everything we needed to convey. Gazing into his eyes was always such a powerful thing for me, and I decided that, following rule 7, they would be the body part I focused on.

It was late when he came home after work, and I had already eaten, but I sat with him while he had his dinner. After he got cleaned up, we climbed into bed - at the same time - and then I told him why I loved his eyes so much.

His eyes were the first thing I noticed on Jasper, they harbored so many emotions behind them. That first day, although you could see the hint of apprehension at being in a new school, his determined confidence shone through. The different shades of blue cycled through his eyes depending on his mood and I had learned them all.

Happiness - When he was truly blissful, and the smile that lit up his face reached his eyes, they were cobalt blue. They were bright and beautiful and I loved to see the tiny lines around them when he let go and laughed. One of my favorite memories of him being happy was when we decided to move in together. I remember him being so nervous until I said yes and, after making sure he'd heard right, he'd swung me around and kissed me until we were breathless, his adorable grin lighting up my world.

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Anger - When Jasper was mad, his eyes narrowed and a brilliant sapphire captivated me and held me prisoner until he was once again at peace. This was a color I didn't see often and I was okay with that. He was so laid-back that it took a lot to make him unhappy, and when he was, I knew I had royally fucked up. Those are memories I don't like to dwell on. Thank goodness for make-up sex.

Fuck...sex...again...dammit!

Sadness - My least favorite color to see was when his eyes were cerulean and I had only seen it twice in our lives. Once, when his beloved grandfather died and the other when we left for separate colleges. I held him the entire night before we left. We'd cried and stayed wrapped in each other's arms, not wanting for a moment to let go. It was the hardest day of my life, leaving him and going to a new place. It was important to us to spend a year apart and grow up without each other. We needed to be able to stand on our own if we were going to be strong and whole together. We didn't last past the first semester before we said "Fuck you" to that plan and both transferred to UT Austin. We felt pathetic, but realized that we were much stronger together than apart.

Lust and Love - When his eyes darkened to a deep, midnight blue...I knew I was loved and desired...this was by far my favorite color. When his eyes darkened, they pierced right through my heart and into my soul. It was when he truly saw me at my most vulnerable and I trusted him with my most precious gift, my love. When he made love to me, he never let me break the spell of intensity that surrounded us. He kept our gazes locked and our passion was even more fevered with every thrust of our hips. He knew me intimately and I loved him with all that I was.

Until tomorrow...

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Reviews are love :-)


	5. February 21, 2010

**A/N: Thank you so much again for all your amazing reviews...I love reading each and every one and wish I could respond to them all, but you'd rather I do this, right?**

**Thank you so much to OnTheTurningAway for fixing my boo boo's and just being wonderful.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a cute new pair of purple Chucks...SM owns the rest.**

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February 21, 2010

Today was all kinds of fail for the rules. First of all, there was no sex, so don't go there. We meant to eat breakfast together, but I woke up late and that threw off both of our schedules. We rushed around like mad and I attempted to make breakfast in between ironing my clothes and pouring our coffee. The end result was a burnt mess of eggs and bacon that smoked up the kitchen and stunk up our clothes. Smiling sheepishly, I kissed him long and hard before running out the door.

In my haste to get out of the door, I forgot to leave a note inside his briefcase telling him how much I loved him and I was pissed. This whole project was so important to me and it was only the fifth day and I had already messed up the routine. I hoped he wasn't disappointed when he opened up his briefcase and there was no Post-It from me. I was also trying to figure out when we could have a date night this week. We had things planned for wedding preparation all next weekend. My sister, Alice, had a whole schedule of when and where we were supposed to be. She was a whirlwind of energy and we let her plan the ceremony as long as she stuck to the basics of what we wanted. It looked like date night was going to be during the week.

Jasper was working on his Masters and he had a study group he met with on Sunday mornings at the library, so I spent those mornings with his mom. We went to brunch at 9AM sharp and I hadn't been late yet. My backup plan had been to send him a text when I got to the restaurant, but his mom started talking right away and she hated it when "useless technology" was used at the table in her presence. Needless to say, Mrs. Whitlock did not own a cell phone.

Jasper called me and told me he was going to be running a little late, so I decided to go back home with Mama and help with some honey-do's around the house. Jasper's father had passed away when he was a baby and she had never remarried. There was so much more to do than she let on and by the time I got home, Jasper had already eaten. I just wanted to crawl into bed while he studied some more before his class tomorrow evening.

Deciding to bypass food, I went into the bathroom, turned the shower on hot, stripped and got in. Every muscle in my body ached from all the chores I had done at Mama's house and I rested my head against the shower wall with my eyes closed. The hot water felt wonderful cascading down all the places I was aching and I had no desire to move. I was in there, lost in thought, when I felt the cold air hit me and then Jasper's hand were on my back.

He whispered the he loved me before kissing down my neck and across my shoulders while his hands kneaded my worn out muscles. As tired as I was, having his hands on me was slowly making my cock come to life and throb with need. It had been five days since I had seen any sort of release and my body cried out for it. His hands slowly moved from my back around to my chest while he continued to kiss and nibble up and down my neck. The only sounds I could get out where moans and groans. He knew my body better than I did and he knew exactly what I needed.

I couldn't stop my hand from wrapping around my cock, and his soon followed, wrapping around mine. Turning my head, I sealed our mouths together as he moved our hands up and down my aching dick. I knew I wouldn't last long, I needed this so badly. Our tongues danced frantically as our hands sped up the movement and then my hips thrust forward one last time as I came all over our intertwined fingers. It was fucking amazing, he was incredible and I loved him so much.

Instinctively knowing that I was too tired to reciprocate, he kissed me one last time before smiling and leaving me alone in the shower. I quickly washed up and was now more than ready to get into bed. Opening the door, I stepped out and walked into our room to get my lounge pants. I glanced into the mirror to see how tired I looked and what I saw took my breath away. Written across the dresser mirror in black dry erase marker were the words..."Edward, I love you with all my heart...35 more days until I become your loving husband and I can't wait for our forever...love, Jasper".

Tears stung my eyes at the sight. I peeked out in the living room and he was head down in his books, highlighting and making notes. I padded silently over to where he sat and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He smiled without looking up and I wrote "I can't wait either" on the top corner of his legal pad. I crawled into bed and fell asleep, more content than I had been in a long time.

Until tomorrow...

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Reviews are love and make me keep writing...


	6. February 22, 2010

**A/N: Once again thank you so much for your wonderful reviews...they really do keep this project going...this has been so fun to write...**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway for working her magic, doing Brand Name research and just being really fucking fabulous.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a serious appreciation for Apple products...SM owns the rest.**

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February 22, 2010

Today was a much better day. Although we had the hustle and bustle of a normal work day, the crazy rushing around from yesterday was nowhere to be found. I made our coffee and we had our normal, quick peck as he ran out the door, but that was okay with me, because we met for lunch later and I made it a special one.

When I packed our lunch, I made sure all the different things would remind him of some point or event in our lives that really meant something to me.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - When I first started to actually talk to Jasper instead of stammering around him, one of the first discussions we had was about these infamous little sandwiches. I myself, had never had one and he absolutely loved them. He was absolutely appalled that I had never experienced the delightful taste sensation that was this masterpiece of processed foods. He took me back to his house that day after school to have one. His eyes were full of sparkle and light as he made the sandwiches, one for me and one for him. He was anxious as I took my first bite, especially since I eyed it with such apprehension. When I took the first bite, it was so fucking good and I actually moaned at the taste. I couldn't believe I had never had one of those. He was so damn excited that he hugged me, tightly, and that was when I realized I needed his light in my life and I was going to do whatever I had to do to make him mine.

Doritos - This was one of my favorite debates with Jasper. Where I come from, the only thing that crunches in a sandwich was lettuce, but my dear fiancé had other ideas. We were out at Subway, meeting for lunch one Saturday, and I was still trying to get up the guts to ask him on a real date. We both ordered our foot longs, chips and drinks and sat down at the table. The adorable blonde boy in front of me opened his chips and proceeded to line the interior of his sandwich with them. All I could do was stare at him. He looked up at me with that dimpled grin and took a loud, crunching bite of his sandwich and I just looked on with my mouth wide open in shock. Once again, he told me not to knock it until I tried it as he slid a few into my food. I took a tentative bite and could safely say that it was not for me, but every time I see Doritos, I think of that introduction into more of Jasper's bizarre eating habits and I smile.

Yogurt and berries: Now this was one of my favorite things to eat and Jasper flat out refused to eat anything that he deemed good for him. He said it all tasted like shit and if he was going to die, it was going to be happy. We had been dating for about eighteen months when I finally made him sit down and eat it. I had tasted all of his interesting creations and this was one thing he refused to try. I blindfolded him, _what a fucking turn-on that was_, sat him down and told him to open up. I was going to do my best to make this enjoyable for both of us. I straddled his lap and had the bowl in between us. He had no idea what I was doing. I told him to open his mouth, then I leaned forward and dragged my tongue across his lower lip. His taste was my favorite. Next, I scooped a bite of yogurt and berry into the spoon, put it in my mouth and sealed my mouth to his as I pushed the yogurt covered berry into his mouth. It was driving me crazy to be sitting like that and feeling him grow hard underneath me. Needless to say after that first bite, we grabbed the bowl of berries, ran upstairs to his room and spent the next few hours licking the trails of berry juice off of each other. It was a great memory.

Mountain Dew and Water - We will never agree on a drink. I cannot believe he drinks something that looks like pee and he can't believe I pay for something that is free. When we take our monthly trip to Costco, the basket always has four cases of Mountain Dew and four cases of water. I for one, will never try that horrible beverage he likes so much and I will fall over dead the day Jasper willingly drinks water. We were at an impasse here.

The lunch was perfect and Jasper was carefree and happy as we forgot the world around us for forty-five minutes. We sat in a park and ate while remembering all the events that surrounded the food we ate and he gave me one of the sweetest kisses when we parted to head back to our offices. I absolutely adored that boy.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews are love…really, they keep me writing...and they let me know you are reading and liking this...**

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**Please, go vote for your favorites!! The noms are due by 2/28. Give your favorite authors the love they deserve.**

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	7. February 23, 2010

**A/N: This chapter made me weepy…the song Jasper uses is one that my husband sings to me…he is my Edward…but better, because he is real…**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway for always taking time out of her busy schedule to fix my errors. I am so damn proud of her today and love her so much…her story was featured on the TwiSlash Blogspot as one of the Tuesday Recs…if you haven't read FIRST…go do it! ****www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5686364/1/First**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a serious addiction to slash…SM owns the rest.**

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February 23, 2010

Today Jasper left me this letter under my coffee cup. Reading each word nearly made my heart explode and to say that I can't wait to make him mine forever is an understatement. How in the fuck did I get so lucky?

_To my one and only true soul mate,_

_Edward...everything you have been doing to make the days leading up to our wedding that much more special has amazed and humbled me. You are not only every bit the adorable, shy boy I fell in love with, but you have grown into a strong, confident and l__oving man that weaves deeper into my heart and soul every day. _

_Now, I don't have a way with words like you do darlin', so I will do my best here with the song I listen to when I think of you...you know what it is and you can laugh all you want, but the words are true and very dear to my heart..._

_**Your Name is Tattooed on my Heart**_

_**Well I know that our love is for real, but I thought you should know how I fee**__l - God, Edward, you have no idea how many times a day I am forever thankful that I was lucky enough to move to Forks and meet the person I was meant to spend forever with. When I saw you that first day of school, all of these feelings I had never experienced before churned like crazy inside of me. I now know that it was the start of this torrential storm of emotions that sits brewing stronger everyday that we are together...those were the first feelings of the deep love I have for you._

_**  
So you're not going anywhere, won't fade away**__- The feelings I have for you will never wane, they will never go away...I am yours forever and where you go I go too. They say feelings fade and the passion of first love disappears. My feelings for you only get stronger and my hunger to please you gets more fierce over time._

_**Cause your name is tattooed on my heart and I'll always be true**__- My heart has belonged to you since the first moment you looked at me with those fearful, emerald eyes at your locker...yours became mine then too, you just didn't know it yet._

_**Don't forget that I don't forget you, wherever I go, what I do**__- Whether I am at work or school...you are always with me. When I am having a bad day or getting stressed in a situation, I think of you and my world tilts back on its axis and everything feels as it should be._

_**And should you slip my mind, I'll have this to remind me**__- Rarely do you slip my mind, Edward. You are always there, but o__n the rare occasion that I shut everything out, all I have to do is look down at my hands and you come flooding back full force into my mind. Why you ask? Every time I see my hands I think of all the places I have touched you, all the ways they have made you scream my name out passionately and I am complete._

_**  
Your name is tattooed on my heart and I'll always be true**__- Never once have I ever regretted loving you, never once have I ever wondered what it would have been like with someone else...I will be forever faithful to you and to our love and commitment to one another._

_**Am I such a fool, to show my love for you**__- Sometimes I feel like a big fucking sap when I talk about you, my face hurts from smiling so much and sometimes people make fun of me for it, but you know what? I don't care, because being with you and loving you makes me so fucking happy, Edward. I would scream it from the rooftops of every building that I am in love with and adored by the most wonderful man in the universe, but I don't want to be put in a straight jacket so just know how deeply you are treasured._

_**I know it's no mistake and no this thing is not a fake**__- So many people told us we were too young to be in a serious relationship, that there was no way that you could love that deeply at sixteen, seventeen and eighteen...we proved them wrong, didn't we? This has always been real, has stood the test of time and will continue to do so forever._

_**  
Don't forget that I won't forget you, wherever I go, what I do**__- Even when I am studying in the library, I pull up a picture of you on my phone and set it in front of me so I can look at your gorgeous face whenever I want.__ It __keeps me focused and going strong, unless you happened to __have done __some wonderful thing with your mouth the night before, then I get distracted looking at your lips. What's a boy to do? I love you..._

_**And should you slip my mind, I'll have this to remind me**__- Now I have the ring that will go around my finger in 33 days on a chain around my neck. I touch it countless times a day and it reminds me every time of how blessed I am to have you._

_**  
Your name is tattooed on my heart and I'll always be true**__- My heart beats everyday, but it only truly comes alive when I am with you. Even after seven years you take my breath away and my body is your instrument. Only you know how to touch me in a way so that we make beautiful music together._

_Love always and forever,_

_Your Jasper_

Until tomorrow...

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A/N: Song was Your Name is Tattoed on my Heart by Screeching Weasel

Reviews keep me writing :-)


	8. February 24, 2010

**A/N: Your reviews continue to blow me away...thank you so much for taking this journey with me...means the world.**

**Now, to answer a frequent question...when will I update PSMW? I put in the last PSMW A/N that I was going to spread out the chapters a bit...I will try my hardest not to go more than 2 weeks without an update...so I still have some time. Those chapters take a lot more time and effort and take a lot more out of me and my family was missing me...so please be patient with me.**

**Thanks so much to Zigster for he last minute beta skills...she is my little SP and I adore her.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a serious Scrabble addiction...SM owns the rest...**

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February 24, 2010

Today was devoted to rule number seven. After the letter Jasper left me yesterday, I was inspired to pay special attention the hands that brought me so much happiness and pleasure. His hands weren't picture perfect. They were calloused from playing his guitar and his thumbs were short compared to the long length of the others. They were beautiful.

We went to bed together...at the same time. I was sticking to the rules today. While we were laying there, facing one another, I told Jasper that the part of his anatomy I wished to give my loving attention too was his hands. As I began to share with him the things I loved, he silenced me with his lips, and proceeded to demonstrate why I fucking adored his hands so damn much.

He didn't say a word as he used his hands to slowly remove my pants and boxers. Then, he kissed me, and I got to revel in rule number nine. His mouth was mine to consume and delight in as I dragged my tongue into all the secret places where I loved to taste. His mouth was a hive of sweet nectar and I took pleasure in the reactions he elicited in my body by winding his fingers tightly in my hair as his tongue swept into my mouth. Having Jasper's fingers tangled in my hair was just one example of how his hands drove me wild

Gradually pulling his mouth from mine, he turned me around and laid me on the bed face down. I heard him open a drawer and then the pop of a top before his hands were on my back, leisurely rubbing oil into my skin. He started at my shoulders, kneading my skin firmly from his perch atop my hips. His warm breath teased my ears as he leaned forward and gently took one of my lobes between his teeth while pushing his fingers into the column of my neck. It felt amazing. His tongue came out and traced the shell of my ear before he slowly moved his mouth down my throat, licking away all the strawberry oil left behind by his nimble fingers...I was in heaven.

Jasper sat back up and began to work his magic on my hips, sliding down my legs and pressing his forehead to the middle of my back. His breathing became more and more ragged, making my need to touch him excruciating, but this was for him. He wanted to show me what his hands could do to me. Gentle bites were trailed across from hip to hip, his teeth leaving small indentions as he went. He loved to do that and it fucking drove me mad when he did.

When he couldn't take it anymore, he crawled over me and sat against the headboard. Pulling me into his lap, he wrapped one arm around my waist and trailed the other down my chest, over my abdomen, resting it on my thigh. Jasper used his other hand to slowly turned my face to his, and gingerly pressed his mouth to mine. While our mouths were fused together, our tongues languidly explored each other, taking time to appreciate the breathtaking awe that our kisses created within one another.

His nails trailed down my throat, making my body erupt in goosebumps as he made his way down to where I needed his touch the most. Our kisses became more fevered as his hand moved in swift and expert up-and-down strokes while my body slowly came undone. Without warning, I groaned loudly into his mouth as a searing inferno erupted throughout my body and I fell apart in his arms. His kisses slowed and became more loving as he let my heartbeat return to normal.

He whispered that he loved me.

Jasper was perfect, his hands were flawless, and I loved him with all of my soul. Looking at his beautiful smile made my heart throb with happiness...this man was going to marry me.

Until tomorrow...

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**The second round of voting is open in the FML contest...go read and vote for your top 5 picks (I have one in there as well) :-)**

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**Reviews make me keep going...and do cute little dances**


	9. February 25, 2010

**A/N: Your reviews continue to astound me for this journal...they make me smile and make it easier to resist the green and white :-)**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway...she fixes my mistakes and loves me anyways. Her very first fic was not only featured on TwiSlash this week but she also won Best Slash in the Devirginizing Edward contest...I am so proud of her! If you haven't read them...go do it...she is under my favorite author's.**

**Disclaimer: I own a deep lust for the Details magazine that Coolbreeeze mailed me and arrived today( I blame the magazine for the places my dirty mind went to today in bringing you this chapter)...SM owns the rest**

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February 25, 2010

Tonight was our weekly date night. It was by far one of the most memorable nights of our life. It was a combination of rule's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and 9. That would be a magical combination to a perfect night. I decided to take Jasper out to dinner and then head to the bar to play pool. We hadn't done that in so long. It really wasn't my thing, but Jasper loved playing and I loved watching him lean over and shoot. Jasper bent over anything was a mouth-watering sight.

We went to dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant and split an order of Red Curry Chicken. Memories of our first trip here brought huge smiles to our faces. It was our first dinner out after spending an entire weekend fucking in every inch of our new apartment and we decided to get some nourishment. We fell in love with it.

The food so good and we were full and happy as we walked hand in hand to the bar down the block. I ordered us two beers and watched him work his magic on the green felt. He was magical to watch, leaning over, his ass straining against his jeans. I was mesmerized and my dick was rock hard and desperate for him. The no sex rule was so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I desperately wanted to be bent over in front of him, his hands on my hips while he thrust in and out of me. My body needed him to fill me and make me his, but there were still 31 more days.

After a few beers and watching him beat everyone who challenged him, we finally decided to head home. Friday morning would come just as early as any other one and we both had to work tomorrow before our Alice filled weekend of wedding plans. We walked all the way back home with our pinkies linked, laughing along the way as we thought about the first time he schooled me at pool. He acted like he couldn't play and made bad shot after bad shot so I wouldn't feel bad. When I finally realized what he was doing, I told him to play for real and he made every shot after that. I never had a chance, the same way I never had a chance in how I would feel about him. He owned my heart and soul.

We swung by the corner store and grabbed a bottle of wine before heading up the stairs to our apartment. When we walked in you could feel the sexual tension all around us, vibrating between us and buzzing in the air. Setting the bottle down on the counter, I turned slowly and faced the man I loved. He was staring at me with hooded pools of midnight blue through dark blonde lashes. My heart was thudding in my chest as I watched his tongue slip between his lips and drag across his lower one. My dick was straining inside my pants and his eyes followed the path of my hand as I slowly moved my hand into my pants and rubbed my cock for him.

We both needed each other tonight, it had been too long since we had found our release together. Standing in front of me, his mouth slightly parted, he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. I swallowed hard while I watched his hands deftly undo the button and lower the zipper of his pants. My breath caught in the back of my throat as I watched him lower his jeans, revealing inch by delicious inch of his cock that I was aching to have in my mouth.

He stepped out of his jeans, socks and shoes and gave me a searing kiss before walking into the bedroom with a backwards glance. I quickly shed my clothes and followed him in there. He was leaning against the pillows, one hand behind his head and the other slowly stroking himself up and down. His hypnotizing stare lured me to him and I slowly made my way to where he was laying, crawling up the bed and laying my body on top of his.

He whispered how much he needed me before I gently took his lower lip between my teeth and growled softly. He groaned into my mouth and pulled my face to his, plunging his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues were sliding frantically against each other as our hips started thrusting together, the satin heat of our dicks sliding against one another. We were both moaning and my hands were touching his body everywhere I could reach. His skin was dewy and I buried my face in his neck to taste the salty sweetness that was hiding there. He screamed my name and held my hips in place as I licked up and down his throat.

He gripped my hips, and whispered in my ear that he wanted to taste my cock. The bead of moisture on the end rolled down my dick at his words. Pulling back, I looked into his dark, lustful eyes and nodded, telling him with my stare that I wanted him in my mouth too. He laid me back onto the mattress and gave me one more kiss before turning around so his glorious ass was in front of me and he backed up until the head of his cock hovered over my mouth.

Picking up my head slightly, I dipped my tongue into the slit and tasted Jasper where his flavor was the most intense. He lowered his hips until his balls rested gently against my face and his dick was nearly to the back of my throat. Then, I felt his silky, hot mouth wrap around my cock and felt him start moving his head up and down. Adjusting my head, I started to suck, lick and swallow around Jasper as his he fucked my face. His beautiful ass was in my line of sight and I imagined plunging my fingers deeply into his waiting body, but that would be a violation of the first rule, so I watched him instead and imagined running my tongue in and around his gorgeous ass before sinking it into him. Those images caused my hips to thrust harder into his mouth and he moaned around me.

Jasper was sliding in and out of my mouth quicker and more frenzied and I reached up to take his sac in my hand and gingerly tugged as I felt his thighs tensing over head and his orgasm sped through his body. My own release was eminent as I heard him groan my name. When he started shooting thick streams of cum down my throat, I let go and felt him drinking me down as well. It was fucking amazing, coming together in such an intimate act of love and it made my feelings for him all the more intense.

When we were both spent, he turned around, nuzzled my neck and then kissed me. Our tongues moved lazily together, mixing the flavors of our cocks and mouths together, it was my favorite kiss of all. We snuggled up and fell asleep together, sweaty limbs wrapped around each other and blissfully in love.

Until tomorrow...

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**The second round of voting is open in the FML contest...go read and vote for your top 5 picks (I have one in there as well) :-)**

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**Reviews make me keep going...and make me love doing this**


	10. February 26, 2010

**A/N: I love you all, really…you are making this so much easier on me and we are now officially 25% of the way through!!! Thank you for each and every review you leave me…I love them all.**

**Thanks so much to OnTheTurningAway for finding my mistakes and helping me fix them. I puffy heart you bb…**

**Thank you to Zigster for making me the most fuckawesome picture that is now my profile pic on FanFiction…go look…it will make your mouth water!**

**Disclaimer: I own tickets to go see 100 Monkeys (be jealous)…SM owns the rest.**

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February 26, 2010

After last night, we both slept like the dead and forgot to set an alarm when we fell asleep as there were certainly other things on our mind. The amendment to rule one was tossed out the window last night as I relished sleeping naked next to Jasper all night. It was the best night of sleep I'd had since I started this whole thing. There was just something special about being wrapped up in his arms and legs, with nothing in between us. I cherished it.

We rushed through our morning routine. Time was not on our side and I didn't even enjoy one minute of our shared shower as we only had time for a quick wash and rinse. He put the coffee on while I got ready and I poured both of our cups so we could race out the door. At least I remembered to put his note in his briefcase. We had dinner plans with his family tonight. Alice had emailed everyone their schedules and we were supposed to compare them at dinner tonight so we knew where we were supposed to be. She had even threatened to call in and put us all on a conference call if we didn't verify that we were all on the same page. It was times like that I was so happy she was all the way across the country.

Jasper's mom lived within fifteen minutes of us and we saw her frequently. His sister, Rosalie, and her husband, Jacob, lived an hour away and were driving into the city to meet us. Rosalie and Alice were each standing up there with us and Jacob was performing the ceremony. We were in Texas after all, so it would be a commitment to one another, but in my eyes would be husbands until the law changed. There was nothing I desired more than to wear a ring around my finger that told the world I belonged entirely to Jasper. The wedding was too far away for me.

We met at Jasper's favorite steak place. He was a meat and potatoes kind of boy and I adored him for it. When we arrived, everyone was already there, schedules and highlighters in hand. It would have been comical if we weren't about to be in the same boat. I hugged Mama Whitlock, hard. I loved her like my own mother and had a soft spot for her since she lived alone. She was very independent, but treasured every minute we spent with her.

Rosalie hugged me next, squeezing me tightly and whispering her signature line in my ear..."you hurt him, you die, enough said". Then she always kissed my cheek to make up for it. She was beautiful like Jasper, and in heels she was as tall as I was. I had no doubt that they wouldn't even find an eyelash if I ever hurt him. She was tough and scary and I loved her almost as much as Alice.

Jacob shook my hand before pulling me into a hug. He was a mammoth motherfucker. He towered over me by 5 inches and being Native American, he was an extreme contrast to the fair Rosalie. They were both extremely attractive and perfect for each other. I was so thankful he agreed to marry us. We were both very close to him and it meant a lot to us.

After we all sat down, the conversation flowed and the schedules were soon forgotten. Rosalie told us all about her new job as an interior designer, she had just gotten her degree and was ready to decorate all of Texas. Jacob owned a motorcycle shop, he sold them and did repairs and custom work. They were both very animated about their professions. We loved listening to Jacob talk about the shop and all the crazy custom orders he got. They really were a joy.

When dessert came, we finally got out our timelines and coordinated where we each needed to be tomorrow. It was a day for trying on tuxes, tasting cake and meeting with a photographer who was going to do our photographs on Sunday. It was going to be our first portrait we ever had taken and I was so excited. Alice assured me he was fully comfortable with us showing affection and the thought of capturing our love on film made me burn with desire inside. I hoped that he would be able to capture the magic that flowed between us every time we touched.

After kissing everyone goodbye, we headed home and decided to turn in early. Saturday would be a crazy day. When we got home, I called Alice and confirmed our plans with her. She was pleased that she didn't have to babysit us and we could manage it without her here. I heard Jasper get into the shower, so I decided to write a little of my vows. I had not really started on them yet and there were so many ideas rolling around in my head. I wanted to start out with what I thought the first moment that I saw him, the memories of that first meeting brought a smile to my face every time. I made some notes in my laptop about how I felt and what I thought, saving them so I could piece it all together when the time came. I was glad that rule ten was now in the works. Telling him how I loved, cherished and treasured every memory we had was going to be amazing and I was glad the ones we loved the most would be there to witness it.

Walking into the bedroom, there was Jasper, curled up under the covers and sleeping peacefully. Pulling out my phone, I snapped a photo and saved it to look at later. I took off all my clothes and crawled in with him. He was naked and stunning. I trailed a finger up his body, from his hip to his neck, kissing him gently on the jaw before wrapping myself around him, whispering that I loved him and falling asleep.

Until tomorrow...

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**Don't forget about the Slash Awards…all noms have to be in by 2/28.**

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**PSMW should be up by Monday at the latest…**


	11. February 27, 2010

**A/N: Once again...thank you so much for your reviews...you have no idea how they make me smile as they come into my box...**

**Thank you so much for OnTheTurningAway for fixing my drunken typos and making me beam the rainbows out the belly...I heart you sfm bb...**

**Disclaimer: I own some fuckawesome Chucks...SM owns the rest.**

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February 27, 2010

Today, I woke up nestled in Jasper's arms. Somehow during the night, we had switched positions and he was holding me instead. There was nothing better than feeling his strong arms wrapped around me, gripping me tight. His long legs were so intertwined with mine it was hard to figure out where I ended and he began. The sound of his soft snores made me smile and I burrowed back into his chest, knowing this might wake him up.

He mumbled something unintelligible before I felt gentle kisses pressed against my neck and shoulders and I tilted my head to the side so he could reach my favorite spot. His warm tongue moved up the side of my neck to behind my ear and I was getting harder by the second. Shifting my hips back into his, I felt his cock pressing against my ass and I let out a loud moan while reaching down to grab myself. He had no idea how hard he was making the no sex rule. On a normal Saturday, there would have been nothing stopping him from pushing his cock in and fucking me slow and tender from behind. I had to get out of bed before I gave in.

When I started pulling away from his grinding hips, he growled and pulled me against him. His hand went around my cock and he bent me forward a little so that his dick was sliding against that place where I desperately wished he was buried. We both groaned when he started stroking my cock in time with his hips, which were thrusting in a steady rhythm against my ass. He was grunting that he loved and needed me over and over as his damp skin covered my back.

We needed this, our bodies missed being connected. Being naked and moving together was the next best thing. Both of our bodies were writhing against one another and his hand gripped my cock tighter, moving faster. Jasper cried out my name and I felt the wet streams of his cum coating my ass and back. That set my body ablaze and I tensed up before my hips thrust into his hand one last time and I screamed out how much I fucking loved him as my dick exploded in his hand.

He was smiling into my neck and I started laughing. This was ridiculous, it had been awhile since we made a mess of our sheets. That took me back to the days before we ever started having sex. At least with blowjobs, we swallowed the mess and condoms did the rest. He hopped out of bed, kissed me hard and quick, then used the sheet to wipe my back before we both jumped into the shower and quickly got ready. I stripped the bed and he put new sheets on it while I threw the dirty ones in the wash. We had places to go and people to see. Alice's schedule didn't care if we needed to get off, so we hurried, grabbed coffee and ran out the door with huge grins on our faces.

Today finally felt like this wedding was happening. I was giddy as hell trying on the tuxes that Alice had picked out for me. Jacob was at the same shop as I was, trying on his tuxes as well. Alice made sure they had our measurements ahead of time and that everything she selected was waiting there in our sizes, and the staff took pics and emailed her the images immediately. She was telling me yes or no to the various ones we tried on. Jacob looked amazing in his final pick. It was black with a grey vest and silver and black striped tie. Alice was happy with his choice as well.

I had tried on six tuxedos before I knew which one I wanted to wear to marry the man I loved. It was light khaki with a forest green shirt and a striped tie. Jasper would be thrilled, I was sure of it. His eyes were always full of lust and adoration when I wore green of any kind. He loved what it did for my eyes and I wanted him craving my body desperately by the time we got to the hotel after the wedding. My cock was getting hard all over again thinking about our wedding night. You would have thought I didn't get satisfied this morning or something.

Jasper and Rosalie were down the street at a different shop trying on their wedding attire. Alice was vehement that we not see what each other was going to wear before hand. No amount of arguing done by either one of us had mattered. She was very superstitious and insisted we adhere to all traditions, even if there was no bride and it wasn't a legally binding wedding. Sometimes it was easier to just say yes than argue.

We all met up for lunch and Mama Whitlock met us there. We ate quickly and headed to the bakery to taste some different cakes. Jasper's eyes were lit up like it was Christmas. I never kept sweets in the house and he had a sugar tooth. Jacob was excited too, he just loved to eat. We went in and met with the owner of the bakery. He understood from talking to Alice that we didn't want a frilly, flowery cake. He had different cakes paired with the different icings and served them all to us on a large platter. It was so hard to decide, not being a cake fan myself, so I let Jasper pick the winner. He was smiling so big, loving all the sweets and I couldn't stop grinning until my cheeks hurt watching him.

He decided on a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. We were all ready for coffee by the time we left, so we ran into Starbucks and had a drink before parting ways. Jasper and I were going to meet with the photographer next and we were going alone. We walked back to the car hand in hand, sharing our stories from the tux shops, leaving out the details of the suits we had decided on. We were both on cloud nine and more in love than ever.

When we got to the car, I couldn't wait to touch him, so I pushed him against the door and kissed him passionately. He pushed his hands into my hair and held me in place as his tongue tasted every corner of my mouth. Our arms went around each other and we stood there kissing for a long time, reveling in the euphoria of being joined in name soon. The thought made us both so incredibly thrilled that we were having more and more trouble keeping our hands to ourselves.

He finally pulled back and told me how incredibly lucky he was that I belonged to him. It brought instant tears to my eyes which were mirrored in his own. Our emotions were starting to get to us and it didn't help that we couldn't express them fully. We wanted to make love so badly, but he told me this morning on the way to the tux shop that he understood why I needed to do this and that he was having a great time remembering all the things that brought us together. He wanted to make a copy of my journal and save it forever, and maybe one day someone would look back and see how happy we were. I told him with a fierce blush that other people did not need all the details I put in there.

We drove to meet the man who would take our pictures tomorrow. He was nice and genuine and he put us instantly at ease. We had been wanting to do portraits for so long but always had one excuse or another for not doing it. When it all came down to it, we didn't want to take the time to flesh out the ones who would have a problem taking pictures of a gay couple. This was something I would kiss Alice for when I saw her.

We stopped and had dinner, just the two of us, on the way home. We didn't say a word, just stared at one another and let our eyes do the talking while our hands were joined on the table. When we got home, we drank the bottle of wine we bought the other night. We were both exhausted and tomorrow was my morning with Mama Whitlock and Jasper's study group, so we stripped, curled up together, linked our fingers and fell asleep whispering words of love.

Until tomorrow...

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**There are links on my profile to the tux's and the cake**

**Don't forget about the Slash Awards…all noms have to be in by 2/28.**

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	12. February 28, 2010

**A/N: I absolutely love all of you...seriously I do...I am blown away by the amount of people that are reading and reviewing every chapter...thank you! Links to the pics I had in mind when I described the photo shoot below are on my profile and NSFW.**

**Thank you to OnTheTurningAway...she lovingly fixes my boo boos and makes my chapters pretty...you are my favorite girl bb!**

**The amazing Zigster made an awesome blinking banner for this story, go look at it on my profile (so hot) and let me know what you think...I will pass on the love to her.**

**Disclaimer: I own a box of Frosted Mini Wheats I am currently snacking on...SM owns the rest.**

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February 28, 2010

This morning, I woke up before the sun came up. Jasper was still sleeping deeply and I turned on my side to watch him for awhile. One of his locks of hair had fallen over the side of his face and as he breathed in and out, it moved and fell against his cheek. Smiling, I moved it away from his face and tucked it behind his ear. I leaned over and kissed his parted lips and went to get out of bed. When I looked back at him, his lips were puckered, like he was waiting for more. I kissed my finger and laid it against his lips before going to shower.

After I got out, I made coffee and sat down at the laptop to work on more of my vows. The wedding was fast approaching and I did not want to save them for the last minute. I wanted them to be thoughtful and sincere. There were no words in the world that would ever make Jasper comprehend the depth of the feelings that I had for him. I couldn't think of one word that did justice to all the emotions that surged through me when I looked into his eyes. I opened up the document I had and wrote for about an hour before I went and poured us each a cup of coffee and went to wake up my soon to be husband.

When I walked into the bedroom, the bed was empty and the bathroom door was ajar. I tiptoed to the door and peered in, he had showered and was standing there in a towel. It was a beautiful sight. I set the cups down on the table in the bedroom before I walked in and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. He leaned back and we just stood there, looking at each other in the mirror. We really were a striking pair. Our eyes connected in the reflection and I smiled at him before mouthing "I love you". He whispered it back and then he turned around and hugged me.

We both got dressed and ready then headed out the door. I had my Sunday morning date with Mama Whitlock and he had study group. We kissed at my car and then parted ways, travel mugs in hand. I met Mama at 9AM and we had an enjoyable brunch. She loved to tell me all about the troubles Jasper used to get in and I treasured those memories. I always tried to remember to make note of them in my laptop. My plan was to one day make him a book of all the things he missed during our brunch dates. Hopefully I would bring forth some memories he forgot about. When we were getting ready to leave, she grabbed my hand and looked at me with tears in her eyes. She told me that she thanked God every day for me, that Jasper was lucky to find someone who loved him so much and put his needs above their own. I leaned over and hugged her and told her he did all the same things for me. She was so thrilled about the wedding and when we parted ways at her car, she told me she found her Mother of the Groom dress and there was a big smile on her face.

I left the restaurant and went to meet Jasper to get our pictures done. We had planned to meet at the coffee shop down the street from the studio, and he arrived before I did. When I walked in, I saw him sitting at a table, iPod headphones in his ear and writing in a notebook. When I walked over to the table, he saw me and quickly shut his book, but I saw my name scrawled all over the page and I was beaming like an idiot. He had drinks for both of us, so we joined hands and walked to the studio.

When we arrived, the photographer, Seth, tried his best to make us comfortable and relaxed. We were both nervous to be doing this and we wanted everything to look just right. Some of these portraits would be hanging up in the venue where the wedding was being held and some at the reception. I wanted our kids to look back one day and see how happy we were on our wedding day, I wanted our love reflecting back from the pictures.

After we had taken all of the traditional portraits, we decided to take some more intimate pictures for ourselves. In talking to Seth yesterday, he gave us the idea of doing some pictures that were just for us, clothing optional of course. Jasper and I talked it over last night and decided we would love to have some like that. The thought made both of us really fucking turned on and we had to curb our passion once again. We ultimately decided that our underwear would stay on, but we opted for matching black boxer briefs and jeans for the pics that required pants. Jasper was none too pleased to have to wear underwear this morning, but he did it for me. My man was such an exhibitionist.

In the first pose, we took off our shirts and Seth told us just to act natural and he would do the rest. Jasper turned and walked up to me, his eyes instantly making me forget we had an audience, and he started to kiss me. The fire and intense love we had for one another poured from our souls into that kiss. Our mouths fused together, then tongues came out and the kiss got much more intense. Jasper dragged his tongue along my lips before plunging it into my mouth. His hands were in my hair and he pulled back to take my upper lip between his perfect, white teeth. All the while, Seth was snapping frantically, picture after picture. Finally, the kiss started to calm down, but unfortunately, our cocks had not.

Jasper's hips were moving sensuously against mine, he was so damn passionate and I loved him so fucking much. In the next picture, I stood behind him. One of his arms went to the back of my neck and the other reached behind him and rested on my ass. One of my hands went over his shoulder, covering one half of his chest, while the other rested low on his hip. Our mouths were joined in a very loving kiss. The pose conveyed the amount of adoration that we had for one another, and when Seth turned his back to change cards in the camera, I slipped my hand in his jeans and quickly stroked his dick. He pulled my hand out and turned around to face me, a menacing look on his face. I knew what I had just done made him crazy and I whispered that I would take care of it when we got home. He growled at me and told me I better, before kissing me and walking over to the bed Seth had set up in another room where were doing our final pose.

This was going to be the hardest to do, because it was our favorite way to make love. Facing one another, arms and legs wrapped around each other and kissing as Jasper and I rocked back and forth while his dick slid in and out of me slowly. My skin tingled and my cock was throbbing at the thought. Jasper crawled onto the bed first and sat up in the middle. I knelt down in front of him before I sat back and laid my thighs over his and let my legs lay to the side. He pulled me in close until our hips were flush. Our skin was hot and damp, both of us overheated from touching so intimately. His hands went down to my backside and mine wrapped around his back. Jasper leaned back slightly, bringing his groin under mine before closing his eyes and kissing me.

There were tears in my eyes that fell at the sheer beauty of the man in front of me who loved me with all that he was. He was mine, forever, and I gripped him hard and pulled him to me. I closed my eyes and kissed him gently. It was perfect, everything I wanted it to be, and I couldn't wait to see the pictures.

When we were done, we left and went and had dinner together. I told him about some of the things Mama had shared with me and he had the decency to blush at some of it. He was definitely a handful as a child. We shared dessert, which meant I had one bite and Jasper ate the rest and then we went home.

I spent the time before we went to bed laying with Jasper on the couch watching a movie. He fell asleep instantly and I didn't have the heart to wake him. Setting my alarm on my phone, I snuggled into him on the couch and fell asleep too.

Until tomorrow...

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**Last chance to get your Slash Noms in...link on my profile...due by Midnight CST!**

**Reviews are love and help me stay away from Starbucks!**


	13. March 1, 2010

**A/N: First...PSMW will probably not come out until the end of the week...I am sick as dog and that takes a lot more out of me than this little fun, fluffy thing does...I am writing it, it has been started, I am just dragging ass and I am sorry. **

**Your reviews...I love them all...you guys have no idea how they make me smile...also, in case you didn't see...the pics I used for inspiration on the photo shoot are on my Fan Fic profile...go look and drool!**

**Thank you so much to OnTheTurningAway...she is the best fixer of my shit there ever was...I puffy heart her so fucking much!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own really cute Strawberry Shortcake jammies...SM owns the rest**

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March 1, 2010

This morning, Jasper got up before I did. We both hated Mondays, they were the worst day of the week. When I woke up, he had already showered and gotten dressed. I leaned out the door and peeked into the kitchen. Jasper was standing in there, writing in that same notebook from yesterday while attempting to cook breakfast. It was the most adorable thing I had fucking seen. First of all, the boy never got up early and second...he couldn't cook for shit. I was a little leery of what he was stirring up, but I would eat it no matter what. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

I took a quick shower, shaved and got dressed. When I walked out there, I got a side view of my handsome boy. He had a pencil behind one ear and his lips were pursed together as he concentrated intently on the contents of the notebook. My curiosity almost got the best of me, until he pulled his lower lip into his mouth and started dragging his teeth over it and I was once again lost in a haze of lust. As I watched him move his lip in and out of his mouth, a great idea for tonight popped into my head. I would combine rules seven and nine and tell him why I loved his mouth so much while kissing him over and over again. That thought awakened my cock. I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his neck while grinding my hips into his ass.

Jasper turned quickly, grasped me by the hips and walked me backwards into the wall. He pinned me against the wall with his body and groaned into my ear how badly he needed to fuck me while rubbing his jean-clad dick up and down my own. I lost all sense of time and hooked one leg around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He grabbed me by both thighs and lifted me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist and held me up against the wall. His eyes were dark and intense, daring me to take this any further. I was so full of hunger and need for him that I couldn't stop myself. I ground my hips into his once and asked him what he wanted.

Jasper looked up into my eyes, brought his mouth up against mine and grunted as he thrust against me that he wanted to fuck me until I was hoarse from screaming his name and then, when we were done, he wanted to bend me over and do it all over again. When the last word escaped him, he closed the distance between us and fused our mouths together. His tongue plunged into my mouth and I moaned into the kiss, desperate to taste him. My body needed his so fucking bad and he needed me just as badly. He held me in place against the wall as his cock thrust furiously into mine. My legs held him tightly to me and my fingers wound into his hair, pulling his face back so I could bite gently into his neck. When I bit him, he always got that much more passionate about our love making, but I didn't want to leave a mark, so I was careful.

When he felt my teeth sink into his skin, he cried out my name, turned us around and fell on top of me as he laid me down on the couch. He grabbed my hands and pinned them over my head while he fucked me through our clothes. It was the closest we had gotten to throwing in the towel and just doing it. He was grunting and we were both panting. Our hips slammed together repeatedly until I watched Jasper's body tense above me as he threw his head back and screamed my name. That was all it took for me and and I ground into him one more time before cumming fiercely against him. It was nothing short of amazing.

He fell on top of me, wrapping his arms around me and whispered that he loved me over and over again as he pressed kiss after kiss into my heated skin. I turned my head to the side so he could kiss my neck and I caught a glimpse of the clock out of the corner of my eyes and pushed him up. We were so fucking late. We looked at one another and laughed as we scrambled to get our nasty, wet pants off and into the shower real quick. We bathed in record time, got dressed and left the pile of mess Jasper had made for breakfast on the table as we sped out the door.

I was going to be so damn late for work, but fuck me was it worth it. He was starting to fall apart, and for the first time I thought maybe all this wasn't such a great idea after all. I shook off my doubts and knew that I had made a commitment to myself and him and I was going to see it through. We were almost halfway there and I felt us growing closer together everyday. All of this was so very important to me and I was glad it was important to Jasper as well.

The rest of my day was just a frantic mess, I could never get my bearings after being so late this morning, but every time I thought back to it, there was a huge grin on my face. After work, I stopped by the Thai restaurant and picked up dinner. I went home and cleaned up Jasper's breakfast mess before setting dinner up on two plates and waited for him to come home. When he got there, we ate our curry and talked about wedding details. We were meeting with the florist and caterer this weekend. Jasper was once again excited about the food.

After dinner, I cleaned up while he got ready for bed. I told him I wanted him to meet me on the couch, ready to go to sleep. When he came out, face freshly scrubbed and shirtless in his lounge pants, I was once again amazed that this gorgeous creature belonged to me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I excused myself, changed into my night clothes as well and brushed the curry off of my teeth. I couldn't very well kiss him like crazy with nasty mouth.

I walked out into the living room, pulled a silk blindfold from behind my back and covered his eyes. Then, I told him in detail why I loved his mouth.

When he spoke, his voice always awakened all of my senses, wrapping around me and commanding my attention. I stared in wonder many times, watching his lips move as the words came tumbling out of his perfect lips.

When he was experiencing different emotions, his lips were like his eyes, you could tell what he was feeling. When he was happy, one side of his mouth lifted up higher than the other in an adorably lopsided smile. When he was sad, he had one side of his mouth pulled in, held in place with his teeth. When he was angry, his lips pressed together firmly and I think he did that so he would never say anything he regretted. When he was turned on and wanted me, his lips were parted and his tongue would always come out to tease me when it left a wet trail on his lower lip. When he told me he loved me, his mouth formed a slight pucker at the end every time. I loved to watch his mouth when he uttered my three favorite words.

I relished in the feel of his mouth on my own. When he kissed me, all the cares in my world disappeared. His lips had the power to calm my storms, draw out my emotions and unleash my passion within. They were powerful and intense and knew what every inch of my body tasted and felt like. When he made love to me slowly and gently, there wasn't one place that he neglected to kiss or touch with his sensual mouth and I appreciated all the attention he paid my body. He was a wonderful and giving lover and I was thrilled that my body was the only one he ever knew.

When I finished telling Jasper all of this, there was a single tear that ran out from under the blindfold. I crawled over to him and pulled the silk off his eyes before kissing the trail the tear had made. Kissing from his jaw up to his eye, I told him I loved him and appreciated him with every touch of my mouth to his face. He leaned in and kissed me, letting me feel all the love that poured from his mouth and I was in heaven. He was my everything and I was his.

Until tomorrow...

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**Voting in the FML contest is until March 3, 2010...go vote for your favorites...I have one in there too...go read and review please :-)**

**Reviews make me smile and keep writing this fluff...so thank you!**


	14. March 2, 2010

**A/N: I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't think you guys know how much your reviews mean to me...I can't believe we are almost to the halfway point here :-) I am keeping my eye on the prize...one quad venti latte waiting for me with a doppio on the side. Thank you so much each and every one of you!**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway for not only brainstorming with me, but fixing my errors and making sure I am taking my Tylenol and drinking water...she is the best FW ever and I adore her!**

**Disclaimer: I own Hello Kitty Jammies that I am sporting right now...SM owns the rest.**

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March 2, 2010

When I woke up this morning, Jasper was in the shower and I walked out to the coffee maker to brew a pot for us. When I got there, it was already on and there was a note under my mug from Jasper. Picking up the mug, I pulled out the note and read it.

Edward,

I will plan date night tonight...please.

Be home by 6:00PM, ready to be wined

and dined by yours truly.

Jasper

Smiling, I headed into the bedroom to take my shower next. Jasper was in the room getting dressed and I waved the note in front of his face, grinning and trying to contain my curiosity, it didn't work. When I asked him what the plan was for later, he placed his lips against mine, telling me to let him keep his secrets. I kissed him, walked into the bathroom and went about my morning routine. After I got dressed, I went out into the kitchen. Jasper had our mugs ready to go and we held hands all the way out to the cars, kissing once again before parting ways and exchanging an "I love you".

I was anxious and excited all day long, wondering what he had planned. Knowing Jasper it would be simple and memorable. He never did fancy, or pretentious as he called it. He was a laid-back Texas boy and nothing would ever change that, not that I wanted to. Work was finally over and I headed back to the apartment, stopping to pick up a bottle of wine. I pulled into our parking lot and was thrilled to see that Jasper's car was already there. I was ten minutes early, so I sat in my car and listened to music until six o'clock hit. When the digital read out on my dash showed two minutes 'til, I turned off the car and went inside.

When I walked in, there was a red checkered table cloth on the table with a single candle burning in the middle. On the table were two bowls and two boxes of cereal, one box of Lucky Charms and one box of Shredded Wheat. There were two half-gallons of milk in a bowl of ice, whole for him and skim for me. My smile was growing larger and larger and my cheeks were starting to hurt. He was so damn awesome. Since he knew he couldn't cook, he planned a cereal date. Man, did I love this boy. I felt him behind me before he spun me around and kissed me hello. My arms went around his neck and I poured all my excitement into that kiss.

He pulled back and went to pull out my chair. I sat down and he poured my cereal into my bowl and I couldn't help it, I pulled his head down and kissed him again. He was all grins and blushes as he added the milk next. He sat down and poured his marshmallow filled sugar puffs disguised as cereal into his bowl with his milk that looked like heavy whipping cream. It was so gross yet endearing all at once. That man would be forever a child when it came to his eating habits. I would worry about his health later, right now I watched him attack his bowl of cereal with gusto as he shoveled in bite after bite.

After we had finished our first bowls, he poured himself a second and told me that one thing he really wanted to do in the next year was take some cooking classes at the community center. I was astonished, never once in seven years had he ever expressed an interest in learning how to make anything more complicated than Ramen noodles or Hamburger Helper. He reached for my hand across the table and told me that he wanted to be able to cook things I would enjoy and that it shouldn't all fall on my shoulders. I really didn't mind it, in fact I enjoyed it, but taking classes with him would be a blast. He pulled out a brochure and we looked it over while he ate his third bowl of sweet nastiness and we decided on a day and time that would work for both of us. That was going to be interesting.

Jasper cleaned up the bowls and sent me into our room to change clothes. I got comfy in my pj pants and heard him putting on some music in the living room. When I walked out there, all the lights were off except two candles he had burning on the side tables. He was standing there in his jeans and nothing else. The light reflecting off of his honeyed skin made my mouth water. I would eat cereal every day for dinner if it meant getting to look at him by candlelight every night. He was so fucking beautiful and I was so in love with him.

Jasper motioned for me to sit on the couch so I walked over and took a seat, my back against the arm. He never broke my gaze as he sauntered over to where I was, then he turned and sat between my open legs. He took my arms and wrapped them around his chest and leaned back into me, holding my arms too. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled his warm, wonderful scent. We held each other for a few minutes, saying nothing and feeling everything. This was what love was, this was what a true partnership was, the ability to just bask in the emotions and know without talking how much you meant to one another.

Jasper turned his head and whispered to me that he loved my arms, that when they were wrapped around him he felt loved and safe and that they erased all the conflicts that happened in his day. He said that he loved my arms holding him close when we made love and he loved them gripping him during the night to keep him next to me. I pulled him tighter to me, turned his head and kissed him. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and rubbed against his slowly and sensually. Our lips moved languidly against each other and our tongues made love to one another like our bodies were craving to. When our kisses finally ebbed, we laid on the couch until the flames flickered out, then made our way into our bed. There I held him close to me, my arms and legs holding him tight.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me fucking smile and feel better...really...so leave me some love :-)**


	15. March 3, 2010

**A/N: HOLY CRAP...this got almost 60 reviews in one day...WOW!!! I absolutely love and adore you all...you have no idea how much!!!**

**OnTheTurningAway deserves so much more than a thank you tonight...she fixed my mistakes, helped me redo the problems, brainstormed and coddled my sick ass tonight...she deserves a freaking medal and I love her to death!**

**Disclaimer: I own a huge bottle of GermX...SM owns the rest.**

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March 3, 2010

This morning we were running a little behind, although we made it to bed, my dumb ass forgot to set the alarm. Thank goodness I woke up and we were only slightly rushed to be on time, not that I would have changed last night for anything in the world. There was no time for breakfast, so we both grabbed coffee and a yogurt as we ran out the door. Racing to my car, I almost forgot to kiss Jasper goodbye. I turned around and jogged over to his car, kissed his waiting lips and drove to work.

We had plans to meet for for lunch, my treat this time, and then take a walk around town before we had to part once again to finish our work and school days. When the noon hour hit, I sailed out the door and headed to the Subway down the street. It had been a long time since we had gone there and I knew it was one of Jasper's favorites. I myself was not a fan of processed sandwich meat, but my love would eat anything and he particularly loved that place. When I got there, I ordered two foot longs, got his damn Nacho Cheese Doritos, our drinks and headed to meet him in the park.

He was sitting on a bench, waiting for me, with his eyes closed and face basking in the sun. I stood back for a moment to just look at him and the sheer picture of perfection that was laid out in front of me. The sun caught the the light and dark blond contrasts in his hair. The skin of his neck looked warm and delectable. I wanted to devour him, but there was no chance of that in a public place. His long legs were stretched out in front of him and I walked over to him and lightly tapped his foot with my shoe. He opened one eye, glanced at me and grinned.

We sat at a table and I smiled as I watched him line his sandwich with the chips and crunch away. I ate my turkey on wheat, had a yogurt and drank my water. Jasper ate the other half of my sandwich that I couldn't finish and guzzled it down with Mountain Dew. It was times like that I wondered how in the world he stayed so damn thin. He ate like a horse and nothing he consumed was remotely healthy for him. He ate fast and never left anything on his plate. Watching him eat at Thanksgiving turned my stomach. His belly was actually partially rounded at the end of that meal from all he put in his mouth. He covered a plate with a mountain of food, then poured so much gravy over the top that you couldn't even see the entree. He then proceeded to take a handful of rolls, stack them next to his plate and use them to soak up every bit of gravy on the plate. It was revolting and that didn't include dessert. I could safely say that watching Jasper eat was not anywhere on the list of things that turned me on, but I was glad he took joy in something as simple as eating.

After we finished, we walked hand in hand down the street and looked into various windows to see what they had. We were just enjoying our time together, talking about nothing important and loving the feel of our fingers grasping each other. When we passed a toy store, there in the window was a stuffed bat. When I saw it, my face flooded with color and I stopped to take a deep breath. Jasper looked over at me and whispered in my ear, asking me if I was thinking the same thing he was. Turning to look at him, I confirmed his suspicion. His eyes turned dark and he tugged on my hand, pulling me with him until we got to a place where we could duck between the buildings.

Jasper pushed me against the wall, buried his face in my neck and pushed his hips into mine. The boy was going to kill me. He told me how much he wanted me, that he couldn't do this anymore, that it was too hard, too much, especially when something as insignificant as a stuffed bat made him have a raging hard on and want to fuck me. The entire time he was telling me this, he was rubbing his erection against my own, making me dizzy with need. I told him that I loved him and I was sorry, that if he couldn't do this with me anymore, it would be okay, we would be okay. I never thought this would be so hard for us. We loved each other so much and were so used to being able to express those feelings when we made love. As hard as I was trying, maybe I wasn't satisfying our needs enough.

Jasper pulled away from me, adjusted himself and sat back against one side of the wall while I sat with my back against the other. Seeing the bat brought back memories of the time we went to the Fort Worth Zoo. He was so damn excited to drag me around a place where I knew I would be bored and for sure had to smell like animals, but once again, I did it for him. I surprised myself by having the time of my life. He was so enthusiastic about nature and animals and it was a joy to watch his animated speeches about them as he showed me all of his favorites.

While we sat there, looking at each other, we started talking about our zoo date. He remembered taking me into the primate house, I was so fascinated by all the different kinds of monkeys in there and I was disgusted watching the gorilla eat. We both laughed about that, then I reminded him about going to feed the birds. We bought seed sticks and they all flew down to us and ate off of them. Jasper freaked out when one landed on his head. He started shrieking, dropped his seed stick and ran out of the aviary. He was glaring at me as I recalled that, but had the hint of a smirk on his face.

Jasper came over and sat next to me, picked up my hand and recollected our visit to the Australian Outback exhibit. He said that my eyes bugged out and my mouth fell open when I watched a baby kangaroo actually pop it's head out of the mother's pouch. I always knew that was the story behind kangaroos, but seeing an actual baby in a pouch was mind-blowing to me...almost as much as when I found out on a trip to Hawaii that pineapples grew in the ground. I was so sure they grew in trees, it was like someone took the air out of my sails when I visited the Dole Plantation. I still didn't believe that one, even though I had seen it. After we left the Outback, he dragged me to the Texas Wild exhibit. This was where the bat came into play.

The Texas Wild exhibit was a huge part of the zoo and it had the animals from the different parts of Texas. We saw bears, bobcats, prairie dogs, longhorns and even armadillos. I looked into his eyes, watching them get darker and then rested my forehead against his. That day, we walked into the Hill Country area. There was a building that had all the different bugs and such in this lovely state. There were love ants, scorpions, spiders and beetles. It was so dark in there, so hard to see, and we held onto one another, maneuvering our way through.

We were the only ones in the exhibit and we finally got to the area that was all lit up with black lights where we came upon the bats. Placing my lips against his, I told him how I remembered him pushing me against the wall, his eyes and skin glowing from the purple lights. He kissed me, then whispered in my ear that he never wanted me to find the zoo dull again. Then my gorgeous man dropped to his knees in front of me, pulled out my dick and gave me one of the most memorable blow-jobs of my life while the bats whizzed by overhead. We were both breathing heavy thinking about it and I remembered being terrified that someone would walk in, but not caring as I watched his head move back and forth beneath me. It was the best trip to the zoo I had ever had and there was no way in hell I would ever think it a boring place again.

We sat there, kissing for a few minutes before getting up and walking back to where we had to part ways. There, Jasper told me he was sorry about earlier, that he didn't want to ruin this thing for me, that he would be more patient. He said the bat just brought back that memory and he lost his mind for a moment. When I voiced my concern about not doing enough to please him, he swiftly reversed that train of thought, telling me that I was perfect. I sighed and he kissed me, telling me he loved me and couldn't wait to marry me. That put a huge smile on my face and I kissed him hard and walked back to work.

I stopped by the toy shop on the way home and bought the stuffed bat. It was waiting on the table for him when he came home and that night, Jasper refreshed my memory of that fucking awesome blow job. When we went to bed, I repeated the favor. We fell asleep wrapped around each other after exchanging kisses and words of love and adoration.

Until tomorrow...

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**Second round of voting in the FML contest is up and guess what...I MADE IT THROUGH!!! So please go vote for your top three favorites...so many great pieces in there.**

**www(dot)fanfictio(dot)net/u/2187120/FML_Contest#**

**reviews make me write and make me smile and feel better :-)**


	16. March 4, 2010

**A/N: Your reviews have brought huge smiles to my face...thank you so very much. There have been some questions about what these boys do for a living...I have not thought that far ahead...am trying hard to keep this from having too many details for me to remember, to keep up with the light and fluffy...but you are welcome to suggest some.**

**Thank you so much OnTheTurningAway...she makes my ugly pretty...and I think she is the best and I adore her!**

**Disclaimer: I own a lots of cute jammies...SM owns the rest.**

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March 4, 2010

This morning, before he got up, I went out to Jasper's car and left his note on his steering wheel. I told him that with things about to get hectic for the wedding, I wanted to have a quiet night at home tonight. When I got back inside, I made the coffee, stuck a can of cinnamon rolls in the oven and ran to take a shower. After I was done, I woke up my sleeping angel and prodded his lazy butt to get bathed. He was a grumpy baby in the morning, and today I got a mumbled "don't wanna get up'" before he shuffled into the bathroom. It was funny to watch.

After Jasper got ready, he came out to the kitchen where I had his coffee poured and three cinnamon rolls wrapped up for him to take with him. He kissed me, grabbed his stuff and left for the day. There was no way I was eating that nasty dough that came out of a can covered with something that looked eerily like...well, never mind, but you get the picture. I grabbed my yogurt and coffee, and headed into work.

My day dragged ass. I had taken the day off tomorrow, so today was my Friday. When I turned on my phone at lunch time, there was a message from Jasper. He was not big on using a phone for anything other than calling someone, so I was always touched when he took the time to send one to me. His message simply said..."sounds perfect". On the way home, I stopped and picked up the ingredients to make pasta. It would be quick and easy and then we could just have some fun tonight.

While I waited for Jasper to come home, I started making the sauce and getting the garlic rubbed into the bread. He loved when I made crusty, garlic bread covered with cheese. I, myself was not a big bread eater, but he had to have something to sop up his sauce with. As I wrote this, my head was shaking back and forth at the little quirks that made him who he was. I treasured each and every one of them.

Jasper walked in the door and immediately began to smile when he saw what I was cooking. His eyes lit up and he swooped in and swung me around in a big hug before planting his delicious lips against my own. I didn't know if he was more enthused about me or the food, I hoped it was me. The pasta was put on to boil while Jasper cleaned up. We sat down and enjoyed our dinner together and I was so tempted to ask about his work day, but focused on what he wanted to do afterwards instead. I had made it a rule not to talk about work for thirty minutes, but it was hard for me. It was such a large part of our daily life.

Since I let Jasper pick our activities for the night, he opted to battle it out on Guitar Hero. I got the kitchen clean while he set up the XBOX 360. Jasper had our players set up and was ready to battle when I walked out into the living room. He handed me my guitar with a kiss and then hit the start. We played for a good hour and a half before I finally gave up and let him declare himself the winner. His face was flushed, hair damp and he was panting from exertion; he looked fucking beautiful. We stared at one another for a minute, each drinking in the sight of the one we loved and desired most.

Jasper was the first to break the spell, removing his guitar and coming up to me to take mine. He placed them on the couch, then leaned forward and kissed me. We stood there, lips joined, tongues moving back and forth and hands touching each other gingerly. I relaxed into his arms and kissed him a few more times before pulling back. He laid his head in the crook of my neck and nuzzled my damp skin with his nose, inhaling and lightly licking. In his arms was my favorite place to be.

After a few moments of beautiful silence in his embrace, I pulled back and asked him if he was ready for bed. He shook his head and said he wanted to spend a quiet hour working on our vows together. We each sat on one end of the couch. I had my laptop and he had that notebook he had been writing in. I no longer had to wonder what was in it, as I saw him open to the page covered with my name and start writing. My heart felt like it was about to burst with love for Jasper as I watched his brows furrow in concentration and his hand fly over the paper. We sat there for a while, writing quietly, before we were ready to hit the sack.

Walking into the bedroom, I watched Jasper as he slowly removed his clothes until he was gloriously naked. I took off all that I had on as well and his eyes never left my body as more and more was revealed. When I had nothing else to remove, he walked over to me and kissed me, then pulled me down on to the bed with him. He got behind me tonight, the warm skin of his chest on my back, his legs wrapped around mine and hand resting on my stomach. I whispered that I loved him forever and he sighed against my neck and told me he loved me too.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews are like a drug to me...they are my own personal brand of heroin...(yes, I was that lame) :-)**


	17. March 5, 2010

**A/N: I love you all…do you know that yet? Okay…good!**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway…she fixes my shit and makes me smile and is just the best.**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of random crap…SM owns the rest.**

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March 5, 2010

This morning I sent Jasper out the door with coffee, breakfast and my heart in hand. Even though I didn't have to work, I got up early and made him some biscuits and added butter and jelly to them before wrapping them up. Jasper was very fond of butter...me, can't stand the stuff. I am a margarine kinda guy. We were so opposite on so many things, it was a wonder we could eat a meal together. He liked mayo, I am spicy mustard all the way. Jasper wanted Ranch dressing on everything, I liked oil and vinegar. He liked flour tortillas, I only ate corn. One thing we both loved was anything spicy, whether it was Mexican, Thai or Indian food.

After Jasper left, I showered, changed and went to meet Seth at his studio. He called to say that our proofs were ready and he had them all on a CD so that we could make some choices for the ceremony and reception. While I wished Jasper had gone with me, I knew it needed to get done so we could look them over tonight and decide in time for them to get printed, mounted and framed. There was a note in his briefcase, telling him that he was cherished and to be home by 6PM so that we could have dinner and pick photos. I was eager to see the more intimate proofs.

When I got to Seth's studio, he handed me a disk and directed me to a room where I could view them in private. When I saw the images of us appear on the screen, excitement flowed through me. We looked so happy and so in love. I went through the entire folder of pictures we took for the wedding. It was going to be difficult to select only a few. Then I clicked on the folder of the ones that were for us and when I saw them, I was so thankful I was sitting. They were in black and white and the most sensual images I had ever seen. Our eyes were intense, our bodies beautiful together and it took my breath away to see his arms around me, lips joined with mine. I was rock hard behind my jeans, almost to the point of pain, but I couldn't stop looking. When one of the photos from the bed appeared in front of me, it brought tears to my eyes. We looked like a work of art, hands and legs in just the right place. Looking at the intimacy and passion of the picture, I knew what I wanted to do for Jasper before our weekend became chaotic.

After my body calmed down, I grabbed the disk and went out to talk to Seth, asking for his help with my plan. He made some calls and before I knew it, he had arranged for the photo to be printed, mounted and framed. He gave me an address of where it would be ready in the next few hours. I thanked him profusely and went to run a few more errands before heading over to the frame shop where the picture was waiting to be picked up. I had it framed in a 30X40 frame and couldn't wait to view it. When I got there, the person at the frame shop seemed to know what I was in there for, I am assuming because I was in the picture with Jasper. They took me to a back room and showed it to me before wrapping it up. There were no words to describe the love I felt for him, my throat was clogged with emotion and I had to take a deep breath before signaling that they could wrap it up.

Before Jasper got home, I hung the picture in our room, loaded the photos on the laptop and made dinner. He came home right on time, starving of course, so we sat down and had a nice, quiet dinner. We didn't really talk much, he was too busy eating. He had skipped lunch and Jasper skipping meals was never a good thing. After we were finished, I told him to sit at the computer and start looking at the photos while I cleaned up after us. I glanced out of the corner of my eye every few minutes, watching a warm smile light up his handsome face. I was anxious to see his reaction to the pictures in the second half of the slide show. I knew the precise moment he saw them as I watched his lips part and his eyes pierce the screen. Grinning, I turned back around and finished up.

When I wiped off the last counter, I felt his arms snake around my waist, his mouth on my neck and his erection against my ass. He groaned into my skin that he needed me right then. I turned around, kissed him hungrily and took his hand to walk him into the bedroom. I covered his eyes and turned him to where I had hung the picture. When I removed my hand, he gasped, turned around and pushed me down onto the bed.

Jasper devoured my mouth, tasting every secret place with his swift, agile tongue. He was furiously trying to undo my pants, his hands yanking at my belt, his mouth never leaving mine. I grabbed his hands and pulled them away, undoing my belt and unsnapping my jeans for him. He pulled back and was panting against my mouth, saying that he fucking loved me before sitting back on my legs and pulling his shirt over his head. He never failed to make my heart beat faster when I saw his body on display for me, it never got old or routine.

He looked down at me and said one word..._Please_. Looking up at the man who owned my heart and soul, I nodded. He stood up and removed his jeans as well, and of course, he wore no boxers underneath. I sat up and removed my clothes, opting to keep on my boxers for fear of caving to the number one rule. He knelt down in the middle of our bed and I knelt down in front of him. We were facing one another, touching nothing, connected only by our gazes. It was so hard to resist the the pull his body had on mine, I wanted to throw myself against him and cover his golden skin with mine.

I felt his hand ghost up the side of my body until he reached my face, then his fingers traced the line of my jaw and stopped on my lips. I parted my mouth and gently bit the pad of his thumb. His eyes narrowed and a low growl reverberated in his chest. When I ran my tongue up the side of his finger, he snapped, pulled my mouth to his and kissed me. Our hands were trying in vain to touch every bit of exposed skin on one another while our tongues teased and tasted. His hands went down the back of my boxers, he grabbed my ass and pulled my hips into his. The feel of our cocks touching through the fabric was electric. He moved his hips up and down against mine before sitting back on the bed.

Jasper wrapped my legs around him, imitating the photo from the shoot, and I locked them behind his waist. He whispered that he loved me against my lips, before silencing my moans with his mouth. His arms held me close and his hands gripped my sides as he kissed me passionately over and over again. His hips moved under mine as he slowly began to rock us back and forth, just like he did when we made love. Pulling him to me tighter and squeezing my eyes shut, I rocked with him, grinding our cocks together repeatedly. We continued the motions, never breaking our kiss, feeling the love that connected our souls.

Jasper pulled back and told me to look at him so I locked my eyes with the pools of midnight in front of me. We continued to move back and forth, our releases getting closer and closer, never breaking the stare. It was one of the most intense feelings in the world. I watched as his face tensed and he groaned out my name as the hot streams of his cum covered my stomach between us and I let go at the same time. It was so fucking beautiful and I would never want anyone else in my arms but the man in front of me, ever.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me write more Journalward…and you know you love him too :-)**


	18. March 6, 2010

**A/N: I cannot believe that Journalward is going to hit 500 reviews this chapter…holy shit!! You guys blow me away…I know some of you are running out of things to say, but even telling me you liked it makes me smile and keep on**

**OnTheTurningAway deserves your love too today, without her there would be no chapter, at all. I have been sick all week and was ready to say forget a post for today, but she helped me research, brainstorm and plot out this chapter…then she fixed my errors…I LOVE YOU WOMAN!!**

**Disclaimer: I own a bottle of Emetrol I have been sipping all day…SM owns the rest.**

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March 6, 2010

This morning, we woke up completely relaxed and happy from the prior night's activities. I was the first to wake up and had plenty of time to watch Jasper sleep. He looked so young when he was completely at peace. It reminded me of when he was in high school, and that always brought back tons of wonderful memories. I reached up and ran my fingers through his dark blond locks and he unconsciously moved against my hand. His lips turned up into a slight smile and he mumbled my name in his sleep, which always made my heart swell with love. Leaning over, I kissed his lips, running my tongue along the bottom one and then got up to make some coffee before taking a shower.

Jasper wandered out of the bedroom shortly after, fully nude, hair a mess, rubbing his eyes and morning wood standing proud. When he caught me staring, he told me I was more than welcome to help him take care of it; I rolled my eyes and went back to reading the paper. He was so silly sometimes, we had things to do today and did not have time to get distracted with each other. He walked up behind me, nuzzled my neck and rubbed his erection against me while telling me that he wanted me. Sometimes he was like having a naughty child. I turned around, took his hand, lead him into the bathroom and turned on his shower. I instructed him to stay there until the water was warm, then get bathed and calm down. He pouted, called me a butt head and crossed his arms. When he was grumpy like that, it was best to leave him be, so I kissed him and went to make breakfast.

I popped in Eggos for Jasper and made myself yogurt and bananas. When he came out, he kidded me, told me he loved me, then attacked his stack of waffles. I was thankful we had a four slot toaster since Jasper required six waffles, half a stick of butter and an entire carafe of syrup. By the time he got to the last two waffles, they had practically disintegrated and he soaked up the rest of the mess with the first waffle that he set aside on a napkin. One day, when we had kids, food was going to be a big issue...little did I know it would be today as well.

After we were both dressed and ready, we headed to the florist. Alice had picked out the flowers for most everything so we just had a few choices to make. She gave us options for the boutonnieres and the table arrangements at the reception. When we arrived, they were ready for us and all the pictures of Alice's choices were laid out on a table. We sat down and looked at flowers for ourselves first. Jasper wasn't at all interested in wearing anything but the suit he was going to marry me in, but told me he would wear the damn flower if it made me happy. I told him in the long run, it would make my life easier with Alice, so in retrospect yes, it would make me happy. Alice wanted us to each wear something different, but since we both wanted the calla lily, she was going to have to get over it.

As far as table arrangements went, she was dead set on hydrangeas, and we didn't care, so she let us pick the color so we would feel included. After browsing through many different colors, and watching Jasper roll his eyes and repeatedly point to the light green ones, I just let him pick. There was nothing particularly inviting about any of the colors for me, so light green worked as well as any other color. After we left there, we stopped and had lunch at Jason's Deli, one of Jasper's favorites. He devoured a huge potato, soup and a sandwich while telling me he was saving his energy for later. My love had a one-track mind sometimes.

Next stop was the caterer. We hadn't even talked about food choices, but all of our other decisions had been fairly smooth, so I thought this one might be too. I was really fucking wrong. After looking over our choices, we each wrote down our top two, hoping that at lest one would match and that would be the winner. When Jasper revealed his top two, I nearly fell out of my seat. He wanted either roast beef with gravy, mashed potatoes, rolls and salad or a barbeque buffet that had potato salad and baked beans on it. I was mortified that he even wrote them down. The girl in front of us was trying not to laugh at the expression on my face and I was beet red. Jasper was confused by my reaction, asked to see what I had and I just sat there, too stunned to move.

Jasper finally pulled the sheet from my hand and burst out laughing, asking me if I was fucking kidding. My top two choices were either Rosemary Chicken with White Wine Sauce on the side or Herb Crusted Salmon. I wanted them both served with rice pilaf, grilled veggies, salad and sourdough bread. He told me he was not feeding fancy food to his family and friends and I told him I was not having a buffet at my wedding or the word gravy in my reception menu. The argument quickly escalated and the poor girl helping us discreetly left the room. Jasper called me a snob and I told him if he wanted barbeque, Dickie's could cater that...we were both being ridiculous, the strain of it all finally getting to us. Jasper walked out and I grabbed the paperwork and followed him.

Jasper was standing at the car, waiting for me to unlock it. I walked up and tried to talk to him, but he turned his head and ignored me. We both got in the car and didn't say a word the whole drive home. When we arrived, he walked into our room and closed the door while I sat on the couch and got on my computer. When we argued, it really was best not to talk, neither one of us wanting to say anything we didn't mean. When dinnertime rolled around, I knocked on the door and asked him what he wanted to eat, but he wouldn't answer so I opened the door.

Jasper was curled up in the middle of the bed, sleeping and holding my sweatshirt. That sight made all the anger from earlier melt away, I gingerly crawled up the bed and wrapped my arms around him. He woke up when he felt me and turned so he was facing me. I told him I was sorry, that I didn't care what we ate as long as I got to marry him that day. He kissed me and whispered his apology against my lips. We laid there talking about the wedding, the pictures and finally the food. After a few back and forth ideas, we decided to go with Italian food, to serve beer and wine and to have dressing options on the salad. When all was said and done, I kissed him and told him I loved him. It felt so good to hold him after being upset with him for a few hours.

Lying side by side, Jasper whispered that he loved me too and that he would eat yogurt and berries the way I taught him, in front of everyone, if it meant I was his forever. I laughed against his mouth and told him that wasn't necessary, that I was his for all time. We got up to take off our clothes, crawled under the covers, wrapped around each other and held on tight. The moon reflected perfectly off of the photo of us hanging on the wall and that is what we kept our eyes on until we fell asleep.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me feel better...btw...there are links on my profile for the flowers and such.**

**PSMW readers...I am more than half done with the chapter...it is coming...I promise!!!**


	19. March 7, 2010

**A/N: Oh my goodness, tomorrow is the halfway point and you are still with me! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your reviews and love for Journalward have really, really helped make giving up Starbucks much easier.**

**OnTheTurningAway…thank you so much for taking time out of every day to read and fix my messes…you are appreciated, loved and adored. Journalward wouldn't be so loved without you.**

**Disclaimer: I own Guitar Hero 5…SM owns the rest.**

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March 7, 2009

This morning, when we woke up to the alarm, neither one of us was ready to get up. I sat up and eyed Jasper warily. Even though he forgave me last night, there was no guarantee that he wasn't going to still be a little miffed this morning. Like I said before, it was rare when we argued like that and he tended to let it fester a bit longer that necessary sometimes. He sat up, looked over at me and then fell back down, pulling the covers over his head. Since we were going to be late if we didn't get ready soon, I ripped the covers off of him and started tickling. He squealed and jumped up, trying to push me away. I laid him on his back, looked into his sparkling blue eyes and smiled before leaning down to kiss his gorgeous face.

After a mini-makeout session in our bed, we were really running behind. I told Jasper to start the shower while I made the coffee. When I went into the bathroom, he was already showering, so to save time, I jumped in with him. We bathed quickly, got dressed, grabbed our coffee and headed out the door. I left Jasper a message in his briefcase telling him that tomorrow was our halfway point and I would be planning a special date.

I had brunch with Mama Whitlock, and we talked about her plans to have my mother and Alice to come stay with her the week before the wedding. My dad was flying in the Thursday before. Mama was so excited about it all, her little boy was getting married and she couldn't wait. She even hinted about grandkids, to which I tried to hide my eye roll. We definitely wanted kids, but not for a few years at least. Jasper wanted to finish school and I wanted to buy a house and get settled into our married life first. After brunch, I kissed Mama goodbye and headed back to the apartment to wait for Jasper.

When he got home, I fixed us an early dinner while he relaxed and played XBOX 360. We sat down and enjoyed a quiet dinner. Jasper had yet to mention the note I left him and I was wondering if maybe he hadn't seen it. I would have thought he would have been even a little curious about what we might be doing, but he didn't say a word. We talked about various wedding details, reconfirmed what I would tell the caterer on Monday and made of list of things we still needed to do. As the end of dinner neared, I was getting more and more despondent. This was the first time he had not acknowledged a note, especially one that announced we were almost halfway through the forty days and that much closer to the wedding.

After we were finished, he took my hand and led me over to the couch. He sat down and pulled me into his lap, and when we were both comfortable, he whispered in my ear for me to listen. I closed my eyes and tried to figure out what he was talking about, then I heard it. It was raining outside, the drops were falling and splattering against the windows and you could hear it pelting the skylight. It was relaxing and hypnotizing all at once.

Jasper placed his lips against my ear and told me he was so excited about tomorrow and that he couldn't wait to see what I had planned. This warmed my heart and made me smile. I turned my head to the side and kissed him, sliding my tongue into his mouth and moving it leisurely against his while the sounds of the storm surrounded us. It was a perfect, early evening cuddle. He held me against him and kissed me over and over again. When he pulled back, he looked deep into my eyes and told me he loved me with his entire soul. I whispered back that I couldn't wait to marry him and that I loved him too.

We laid on the couch, wrapped in one another's arms, listening to the rain and eventually fell asleep together. It was the perfect way to spend a lazy Sunday and probably the last one we would have for a few weeks, so I slept happily in Jasper's arms.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make tomorrow's half-way point lemony goodness...and make me feel better, which is win-win!**


	20. March 8, 2010

**A/N: It was pointed out to me by one of my lovely readers that Lent actually has 45 days because Sundays do not technically count (thank you _time to start_) so while at first I wondered about my timeline, I made a decision…it actually works out perfect. There will be 40 days of journal and then in the 5 remaining days I will do a two part one shot (would that be a double shot?) of the wedding and the honeymoon for these boys. SO…in your reviews to this chapter please send me some ideas where you would like these boys to go (in the US, I don't have time for international research). YAY!**

**As promised here is your half-way gift! I was told by my beta that you might need a Sham Wow for this one.**

**OnTheTurningAway…thank you for fixing my errors and making today extra special for me…I love you…that is all!**

**Disclaimer: I own a gorgeous arrangement of Gerber Daisies from my favorite girl (points to beta)…SM owns the rest.**

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March 08, 2009

Today I woke up more in love with Jasper than ever. After our nap yesterday, I woke up before he did and laid there thinking back on all the wonderful times we have had together in these seven years. So many of our friends had gotten together and broken up too many times to count and through it all I have been lucky enough to lay next to this amazing man night after night. He has been with me through every major milestone in my life and I couldn't wait to experience the rest with him.

This morning, I sent him on his way with coffee and a kiss before going to work. It was a busy Monday, so I didn't have too much time to think about our date tonight. I knew what I wanted to do for him and what body part I wanted to give my love to tonight. He had been so patient with me through all of this, indulging my wish to give up sex. When it all came down to it, he was actually making the bigger sacrifice in my eyes. Even though I was desperate to feel him filling me up, he was the one who was being denied the pleasure of making love to me while being surrounded by the tight heat of my body.

After work, I started to get more and more excited about tonight. He was going to go to bed a very happy man if things went the way I wanted them to. I tried not to grimace stepping into Jasper's favorite barbecue restaurant. There was sawdust on the floor and mismatched tables and chairs that had duct tape on the cushions. The place was packed. I walked up to the counter and spoke to the girl taking orders. I didn't remember what he got the one and only time he had brought me here, so I ordered brisket, sausage, ribs and a turkey sandwich for myself. I got sides of baked beans, potato salad, green beans and corn on the cob. The food came with these huge white rolls and onions, pickles and jalapenos on the side. I made sure that they gave me loads of sauce, a gallon of tea and a side of peach cobbler. It was a down home Texas meal and I knew he would love it.

I set it all up at the table which was overflowing with red meat and making my stomach turn a bit. I even set the table with paper plates, plastic cutlery and Dixie cups. It was like a backyard barbecue, but indoors. When Jasper walked in, his eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw the food. His smile was huge and his eyes were gleaming. Sometimes I wondered what he would pick if he had to choose between me and food. I knew it would be me, but if he was hungry enough, I might be pushed to the wayside.

Jasper looked at me and said my name in amazement. He knew this was not my top choice in dining, so hopefully he would understand how much his patience meant to me through all of this. He sat down and ate a little bit of everything, filling his plate three times. I ate my sandwich and sat back and watched him with a slight grin on my face. He really was enthralling to watch, no matter what he was doing. He did everything in his life with fire and passion and it made my heart full of love to watch.

When he finally finished, I pulled out the cobbler and he told me he must have died and gone to heaven before he ate that as well. I would never understand where he put it all and also how he had the energy to move when he was finished, but I planned to use that energy in a bit. We both cleaned up the kitchen, putting away the leftovers and then we went for a walk in the cool, night air. It was quiet and peaceful. I loved to hold his hand in mine and listen to the sounds of the branches swaying as I felt the wind through my hair. It has been raining for the past few days and the storm moved out and left a nice, cool breeze behind.

When we got back home, I told him to give me ten minutes and then come to the bedroom. His eyes immediately darkened and he nodded his head while parting his lips to wet them with his tongue. I nearly attacked him right there, but I wanted to do this right, so I willed away the desire raging through my body and turned to head into our room. Walking in there, I lit candles that I had set up earlier, I turned down the bed, brushed my teeth and changed into lounge pants, leaving my top half bare. When the ten minute mark hit, he knocked on the door and I called his name so he could enter.

Jasper let out a gasp when he saw all the candles and I smiled and walked over to him. I told him that I loved him as I walked up behind him, kissing the nape of his neck as my hands went around the front of his body and began to unbutton his shirt. He rolled his head to one side and I kissed his throat from behind his ear to his collar bone, eliciting shivers from my love. As each button slipped through, I would bite, lick or kiss my way up and down his neck. When they were finally undone, I pulled the shirt off and dropped it on the floor next to me before removing his undershirt as well.

I wanted to maintain control, to worship Jasper and make this night about him, but when I saw the golden flicker of the candles on his skin, I lost it. I pulled his ass into my hips and ground my dick against him while stroking him through the front of his pants. We both moaned out loud and I bent him forward slightly, placing my mouth on his shoulder and sucking hard. I held his hips in place with my hands and lightly dragged my teeth down his back, then trailed my tongue all the way back up. His skin was hot and tasted delicious. Jasper had a flavor all his own and I knew it was made for me. He was groaning my name, his voice husky with need and I needed to see his face.

I turned Jasper around and looked into his eyes. They were full of desire and want, but I set out to do something and I needed to do this for both of us. Placing my hands on either side of his face, I whispered his name and told him that I appreciated him letting me do this for us, that I had never felt closer to him than I did at that point. I kissed his lips and told him that I wanted to show him how much I loved the part of him I missed the most as I slid my hand down into his pants and stroked his cock. His head fell forward onto my shoulder and I whispered in his ear that I missed feeling him buried inside of me, his dick throbbing with need as it moved in and out of me. I told him that I missed that feeling when the head of his cock first slipped in and I missed the angle he held me at when he hit that secret spot inside of me that only he knew how to find. Jasper was panting against my shoulder as I slowly undid his pants and let them fall to the ground.

Jasper growled softly when I dropped to my knees in front of him and I looked up at him through my lashes, telling him I loved how he felt in my mouth. He swallowed hard and plunged his fingers into my hair, pleading with his eyes for me to give him what he needed. I murmured against his dick that I wanted him to act like my mouth was my ass and to fuck my face like he longed to do to my body. He cursed out loud and groaned my name before slamming his dick into my open mouth. I was ready and waiting to take all of him, but nearly gagged with the force with which he thrust. He threw his head back and I kept my eyes on his face as he held my head and moved his hips back and forth against my mouth. His fingers were wound tight in my hair and I opened up my throat even more to take every bit of his length in my mouth.

Jasper was thrusting and rolling his hips faster and harder and I knew he was getting close. Reaching down, I grasped my dick with one hand and began to stroke myself along with his movements. He was grunting and saying my name over and over again and then his body tensed up and he screamed my name loudly as he held my face in place while erupting into my mouth. I swallowed around him, drinking every bit of what he gave to me and suddenly, I was on my back and Jasper's head was in my lap, mouth wrapped around my dick. He was hunched over and sucking hard and fast. He cupped my balls in his hand and that was all it took for me to explode in his mouth, screaming his name and telling him that I loved him. When he had taken all I had to give, he crawled up my body and collapsed on my chest.

We laid on the floor, sweaty and sated, until our breathing was back to normal and we had the energy to get up. Jasper crawled into the bed, pulled me into it with him and pulled the cool sheets up on our overheated bodies. We laid facing one another, connected by our gazes and surrounded by love. I watched his eyes until I finally fell asleep, loving that man with all my heart.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me smile and make my birthday that much better...**


	21. March 9, 2010

**A/N: You guys sure know how to make a girl smile…that is all.**

**Thank you to OnTheTurningAway…she fixes the awkward and makes my messes pretty, so she is pretty much the shit and I love her!**

**Disclaimer: I own a six pack of Negra Modelo which I am nursing as I prepare to finish PSMW tonight…SM owns the rest.**

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March 9, 2010

When we woke up this morning, we were both so tired from the night before that we sat at the table and had coffee before we even attempted to shower and get ready. The entire time we sat there, Jasper had a far-away look and a smile on his face. He looked over at me periodically and told me that he loved me and then drifted off once more. That was how his mind worked when he was thinking about something, he would slip in and out of the clouds, saying hello every once in awhile.

When the time came that we were either going to be late or have to call in sick, we finally got our sleepy butts up from the table and got ready. We were both about fifteen minutes later than normal, so we decided to forgo lunch together and try to get home in time to have a quiet dinner and a walk. The weather was so perfect this week, highs in the sixties and lows in the fifties...we needed to enjoy it while it lasted, this was Texas after all and it could be snowing next week.

Work for me was crazy, I never had a chance to eat lunch so I grabbed a bag of trail mix from the snack machine and kept going. The next time I looked at the clock, I saw that it was more than an hour past time for me to have left. I piled up everything and ran out the door, anxious and hoping Jasper wasn't waiting on me to bring dinner home. I tried calling him several times on the way home, but he never picked up. It was so frustrating, I didn't even know why he had a cell phone, it was never on.

When I got home, all the anger, aggravation and frustration immediately dissipated when I saw Jasper. He was sitting against one side of the couch, guitar in hand and a sultry look in his eyes. He motioned with his hand for me to sit down across from him so I dropped my messenger bag and sat down. He had turned off all the lights and only the glow of the moon was streaming in making him look dark and dangerous. We sat there, staring at each other in silence and feeling the electricity humming between us. It was breathtaking and heightened my senses.

Finally, Jasper started to strum and a melody I hadn't heard before filled the air and surrounded me. He played for a few seconds before opening his beautiful lips and his husky voice began to sing.

_Emerald eyes calm me_

_Hypnotize, love and disarm me _

_Flecks of gold heal my soul_

_and in them I see my eternity_

_My hands long to touch you_

_Arms want to hold you_

_Fingers crave the feel of your skin_

_As you lay beside me every night_

_I think of you every second of every day_

_You are my forever and I am yours_

_No matter the storm, we'll face it together_

_Safe in the strength of our love_

_Strands of bronze call for my touch_

_Lying in beautiful chaos atop the face I adore_

_Perfect lips like crimson silk_

_Feel like heaven against me_

_My lips crave your taste_

_Your essence lingers on my tongue_

_I long to cover your body with kisses_

_And make love to you until dawn_

_I think of you every second of every day_

_You are my forever and I am yours_

_No matter the storm, we'll face it together_

_Safe in the strength of our love_

Tears rolled silently down my cheeks as Jasper strummed the last note, then he whispered that he loved me and set down the guitar. His arms opened up for me and I crawled into his lap, telling him I loved him while he kissed away my tears. I kissed his amazing mouth that sang those heartfelt words, then wrapped my arms around him and held him with all my might. This beautiful soul was mine, forever, and I was eternally grateful to have such an amazing man to stand by my side.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews are love and better than Starbucks *sob* (we will be together soon)**


	22. March 10, 2010

**A/N: I cannot believe the sheer number of reviews you guys have left in love for these boys…my heart might burst by the time we are all done here **

**Thank you to Alexis Danaan for stepping in for my regular beta…I appreciate you looking at this so late!**

**Disclaimer: I own the Fruit Loops I am snacking on…SM owns the rest.**

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March 10, 2010

Wednesday was shaping up to be no better than Tuesday as far as chaos went. Jasper and I actually got up on time and walked instead of running out the door. When I got to work, it was a totally different story. I was buried under a slew of reports and emails that needed to be addressed. I was thankful that Jasper had made me an egg bagel before I left, he was not at all happy that I skipped breakfast and lunch yesterday. I heard him cursing and smelled burning bread while I was getting ready, but he assured me that everything was fine. When I bit into my bagel on the way to work, there was that special crunch that could only come from accidental shell pieces falling into the egg. I smiled and ate the whole damn thing, things like that made me love Jasper more and more. He tried so damn hard and he would never know about the shell.

It was another day like yesterday, right down to skipping lunch, which I fully intended to do. I was going to take three weeks off of work and they were doing everything they could to cram the work I would miss into my last few days. I was working furiously, trying to at least get all the emails answered. There was no way I was going home late again. My phone rang, I looked at the caller ID and saw it was the receptionist. When I picked it up, she told me I had a delivery. I didn't have a clue what it could be, so I walked out of my office hesitantly, peering around the corner. There was a pizza man standing there, and I thought he couldn't be there for me, but I went over anyway.

He had an envelope with my name taped to the top of the box. My first thought was _Jasper. _I signed for the delivery and opened up the envelope as I walked back to my desk. I sat down, opened it and read the letter.

_Edward,_

_I know you aren't gonna eat right again today, so I_

_took the liberty of ordering you some lunch. Now,_

_I know it isn't your favorite thing to eat, but it was_

_the only thing I could find that delivered. I had them_

_make you a pizza with all the grossest toppings they_

_had (vegetables and more vegetables). I told them_

_very minimal cheese and a super thin crust. Now,_

_you better eat it all! Or at least half, you are gettin'_

_too skinny, I might break you on our wedding night,_

_trust me, you will want to be in tip top shape. I plan_

_on fucking you ten different ways...I love you babe, _

_have a good rest of your day at work._

_Love,_

_Your Texas Cowboy _

I lifted up the top of the box, grinning from ear to ear and saw something that made my mouth drop. On the pizza, written in black olives, was "I love you Edward...for ever". That boy was making me fall harder everyday. I was trying so hard to make this all work, to make it something he would remember forever and his simple little gestures were what mattered the most to me. He was just a wonderful person, so full of love and life. I was so damn happy, all the time, because he did all of this for me.

I took a picture with my phone before digging in. The rest of the day was a blur, but I knew that the black olive words on a pizza would go down in my memory bank on the list of fantastic memories that boy blessed me with.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews are love…**


	23. March 11, 2010

**A/N: You continue to confound and amaze me with your love for Journalward…**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway who edited my chapter after driving from Chicago to Atlanta today…I heart you sfm bb…really.**

**Disclaimer: I own rockin' Oakley flip flops….SM owns the rest.**

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March 11, 2010

Today I woke up in a wonderful blissful state. Jasper and I spent a lot of last night writing our vows, stealing kisses intermittently. When I got home last night, I told him over and over how touched I was by the delivery he sent me. I also made it known that I was looking forward to being fucked ten different ways on our wedding night. He was so fun to tease. I made sure to walk around without a shirt on for the entire night. He loved looking at my abdomen and hips, told me they turned him on when they were on display. I used that tidbit of information to my advantage, getting him back for leaving me rock hard at my desk yesterday after reading his note.

I finally resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be buried at work for the next week and a half until I went on vacation. Jasper packed me a lunch today, but told me that we might need to go shopping for food if I was going to do that everyday. Right now, with as busy as I was, it was my only option. My day was crazy and kept me going at full speed until it was time to go. I was so thankful for the lunch he packed me and I sent him a quick email to let him know.

I picked up dinner on the way home, and had it set up on the table when my boy walked in the door. We had a quiet dinner and discussed more of the upcoming wedding details for the weekend and the fact that we had to pick our photos that were to be framed by Saturday so Seth could get them ordered. Afterwards, I made some coffee and we just laid on the couch for a bit, trying to enjoy the bits of quiet we had left before the wedding.

About an hour before we went to bed, I decided to tell Jasper how much I loved his arms and why. It had been a few days since I had paid homage to another wonderful part of him. I told him that I loved sleeping in his arms at night and how I felt content when I woke up every morning surrounded by them. They were strong and beautiful and held me in such wonderful ways. I knelt in front of him on the couch and kissed him deeply before telling him that I loved the feeling of letting go when we made love, because I knew his arms would hold me and I could lose myself in the passion.

Jasper was panting into my mouth, telling me that he loved me so fucking much. I pulled him up with me as I stood and told him that I couldn't wait for him to wrap his arms around me as we danced around the room for all to see, finally as one. Walking over and turning on the iHome, I hit play and a slow ballad started to play. He smiled and pulled me into his arms. I gripped him to me tightly as we danced to song after song, letting the sounds of the music surround us. We kissed, shared special memories and moved like magic around the room. It was fucking perfect, he was fucking perfect and I couldn't wait for our first dance as a married couple.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me smile…**


	24. March 12, 2010

**A/N: I am sitting here at an internet café waiting to go see Remember Me, but wanted to make sure you had your dose of Journalward for the day…I hope you enjoy. In honor of Remember Me Friday…I give you sweet with a side of lemon.**

**Thank you to OnTheTurningAway who did a super quick beta job on this so you guys could have it before the movie…she rocks…I love her…that is all.**

**Disclaimer: I own cute grey and turquoise Chucks…SM owns the rest.**

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March 12, 2010

I woke up being so thankful that it was Friday and I could officially begin counting down the days until our vacation. We both took the week off before the wedding and then the two following. It was going to be wonderful, spending time together. Jasper once again made sure I had a lunch, and handed me a banana for breakfast. He was being so damn sweet to me this week. My job was demanding at times and he seemed to put a little extra care into making sure I was well taken care of. We grabbed our mugs and walked out the door together. I gave him a quick but heartfelt kiss before heading to work.

If I thought the past two days were awful, today was ridiculous. I could barely keep my head above water and I could already see many late nights in store for next week. I nearly worked straight through lunch, but then I caught the lunch bag Jasper gave me out of the corner of my eye and figured if I didn't at least attempt to eat it he would be upset with me. Grabbing it, I opened it up and took out a bowl. I lifted the lid and grinned. Jasper had made me a "salad". The bowl had lettuce, whole almonds, pieces of deli turkey, grapes, grape tomatoes, sunflower seeds, pine nuts and my favorite part...the dressing was already on there. It was a bizarre soggy mess and I salvaged what I could out of there. I had grapes, almonds, tomatoes and turkey. I kept bursting out laughing, the image of Jasper putting it all together in my head.

The rest of the day flew by and I was more than happy to say goodbye for the weekend when I walked out of the door. Jasper and I were meeting for dinner at a pub down the street from the house. We both decided to leave our cars at the apartment and walk there, meeting there when we could. When I got home, his car was in the lot, so I knew he was waiting for me, but I wanted to do one thing first.

I raced up the stairs and quickly went into the apartment. Walking into the bedroom, I reached under the bed and pulled out a bag I had stashed there the other day. I got out two different bottles, a silk blindfold in royal blue and a eucalyptus scented candle. Tonight Jasper would find out why I loved another part of his anatomy that made up the man I loved. Smiling, I walked briskly to the pub and seeing Jasper seated through the windows, I waved and walked in. He had already ordered my beer and it was cold and waiting for me when I got to the table. I leaned over and kissed him chastely before drinking my beer in it's entirety. It had been a bitch of a day.

Jasper watched me the entire time I was drinking, never taking his eyes off of my face. When I looked at him and asked him what he was looking at, he told me that my face was all flushed from walking over and he was thinking of other ways he could bring the flush back when we got home. That boy was devious, making me hard and horny at the table before we even had dinner. He knew what he was doing and he enjoyed every minute of it. I guess he was getting me back for yesterday. Little did he know what I had in store for him when we got home.

After we finished, we played a few rounds of darts and had a few more beers. We had a great time, some good food and headed home. When we walked in, I told Jasper to sit on the couch for a moment and go ahead and strip for me. He turned and looked at me with that predatory gleam that only made me more excited for what I was about to do. I winked and walked into the bedroom, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs and tossing them out to him, telling him to put them on. He looked at me, the "why" clearly written across his features, but he told me he would.

Walking into the room, I lit the candle, opened the bottles and laid a soft, fleece blanket on the bed so we wouldn't mess up our sheets. I took the blindfold and lightly sprayed it with lavender mist before removing everything I had on, boxers included, and put on a pair of lounge pants. I wanted him to feel what he did to me when I touched him. I walked out to the living room to find Jasper standing with his back to me, looking at the pictures of us on the mantle. He was so fucking hot, standing there in black boxers and nothing else. The smooth expanse of his golden skin begged for me to reach out and feel it. His long, lean legs were strong and powerful. He could easily hold me up in his arms and I couldn't wait until he was doing it again.

I crept up behind him and laid my mouth on his shoulder as I tied the blindfold around his eyes. He whispered my name and took my hand, dragging it down to where he was already hard and ready for me. I groaned as I stroked him through the soft cotton and murmured for him to be patient. As I traced his ear with my tongue, I whispered that I wanted him to know how much I loved his skin. I told him that I wanted to lick, bite, touch and rub every inch of him tonight. He groaned out loud and started moving my hand over his cock again. I pulled my hand away and took it to lead him into our room.

I laid Jasper down on the bed, his back on the blanket. He looked like a work of art, laying there panting, hard and blindfolded. He was fucking beautiful. I picked up his leg and placed it on my chest as I stood there looking down at him. Reaching over, I grabbed the bottle of massage oil and poured some in my hand. I picked up his foot and kissed each toe, gently biting into each one before moving on to the next one. After I was done, I rubbed his foot with the oil, making my way gently up his leg, rubbing the oil into his already overheated skin. I put down his leg and repeated the same thing on the other side. I placed his legs on either side of me, standing in between them as i leaned down and licked from his knee all the way to the apex of his thigh on each side. He was writhing and groaning my name as my teeth sunk into each side of his hip.

Carefully avoiding where he wanted my hands most, I climbed up and sat on his lap, his dick against my ass and I prayed for the strength to finish this before I caved in and let him just fuck me. I picked up his arm, kissing and nibbling each finger before biting my way softly up his arm before rubbing it with the oil. I repeated my actions on the other arm, while rocking and grinding my hips on his, giving our dicks some relief. I leaned down over him and sunk my teeth into the soft, salty skin of his neck and he moaned and then said "Edward, enough" before pushing his way up and removing the blindfold.

Jasper looked at me for a split second before slamming his mouth onto mine and sweeping it with his hot, silky tongue. He devoured my mouth, pushing hard, sucking my tongue in his mouth and losing control. While we were kissing wildly, he managed to use the blindfold and tie my hands behind my back. He pulled back, looking at me with wet, swollen lips and grinned before telling me it was my turn. Jasper stood me up, removed my pants and then sat me on the edge of the bed. He kissed me once more before dropping to his knees in front of me.

Jasper on his knees was a fucking amazing sight. Those gorgeous blond locks hovering over my lap, his blue eyes sultry through his dark lashes and his ruby red lips open and ready to devour my cock. He was fucking perfect. He told me he loved me before taking me all the way into his mouth. I groaned and threw my head back, wanting desperately to run my fingers in his hair, but my hands were bound. When I whispered that there was some flavored oil if he wanted, he looked at me with his wet, shiny lips and told me he didn't want anything to take away from my taste. My dick got even harder at that statement.

He opened his mouth and took my head in between his pearly, white teeth and I tensed before he shoved his head all the way down onto my shaft. He started to move his head back and forth, swirling his tongue around the head with every pass. He watched me through his lashes and never once did our gaze break. It was so beautiful to watch, Jasper's mouth bringing me to my release, and I ached with need and love for him. He started to moan around me and I saw the motion of his hand, bringing himself to the edge along with me. Knowing he was touching the soft, satiny skin of his cock made me cry out as I came hard in his mouth, Jasper swallowing around me.

I whispered his name and told him to stand up and let me taste him. Jasper got up and placed his dick into my open mouth, sliding in and out while holding my head in place. It was such a wonderful thing, being the one to bring out such passion in another. He cried out my name loudly as he came in wet, hot spurts in my mouth and I devoured all of him, savoring the taste of my gorgeous boy. He held my head in his hands before pulling out and leaning down to kiss me. Our tongues slid against each other, tasting and loving the taste of one another in our mouths. It was an amazing night.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: Reviews make the ideas keep cumming…I mean coming…damn my mind is in a dirty place tonight.**


	25. March 13, 2010

**A/N: Please see important note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns anything recognizable.**

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March 13, 2010

This morning we woke up happy and well rested. When we went to bed last night, we didn't set any alarms, deciding to get up whenever we were ready. The nice thing about Alice taking care of most of the wedding details was that we were only minimally involved. It made for a lot less chaos leading up to the main event and we were both looking forward to a relatively stress-free day.

The only two things on the agenda were picking out the pictures we wanted printed for the ceremony and reception and confirming our final menu choices with the caterers. It was an easy day and after the week I'd had at work, a much welcome one.

After taking our time getting out of bed, we took a long shower together. Jasper wanted to wash me from head to toe and who was I to complain? It took about forty-five minutes because we spent more time kissing and touching each other than actually bathing.

Jasper took me to eat breakfast at the diner around the corner before we headed to see Seth. We walked over hand in hand and he reminded me of the first time he ever brought me there. That day, Jasper told me he wanted to take me to one of his favorite places. When I walked in, I was a bit apprehensive. It looked like the kind of place that only served grease filled concoctions and that was not my idea of good eating.

Jasper had told me to give it a chance, and I did, for him. I was pleasantly surprised that the cook was a former chef who just wanted to enjoy the slow paced career a small diner offered. He greeted me with a warm smile and asked me if he could whip me up something special, saying he could tell by looking at me that I was important to Jasper and that made me important to him as well. I willingly let him make my breakfast that day and he had been making me the same thing, crepes with fruit and a side of yogurt with granola, ever since.

After breakfast, we met with Seth and looked over the photos with him, letting him help us pick out the right ones for each place. Jasper had fun picking out the frames, acting like a goofy art student, explaining to us why certain colors did or didn't work with the pictures. He had no idea what he was talking about, but it was amusing just the same. Jasper and I couldn't resist wrapping our arms around each other as we picked out about twenty of our intimate pictures to make into a photo album of our own.

We left the studio and stopped for coffee before heading over to the caterer. We were both slightly embarrassed that it was the same girl who we had argued in front of last week, but she acted like nothing ever happened. She must have been used to it in her line of work. We confirmed the appetizers, entrée and drinks. It was quick and painless, until I had to give her my credit card for the deposit.

After being gone for most of the day, we decided to just go home for a quiet dinner. Jasper went out and rented a movie while I made a quick meal of flatbread pizzas. We ate and then curled up on the couch and watched the movie. I take that back, we tried to watch the movie but were much more content to make out like teenagers trying not to get caught by our parents. It was fun and hot all at once. I missed days like that, when the only thing we wanted was just to hold each other while kissing like crazy. It was a wonderful way to end our day.

Until tomorrow…

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**A/N: Hi everyone...OnTheTurningAway here. Robyn has been called out of town to attend to a family situation and asked me to let you know that she may not be able to update Journalward's story tomorrow. She knows how much we've all fallen for these boys and really went above and beyond to get this chapter out to all of us tonight. I'm sure she would appreciate your kind words and understanding if there is a delay in getting the next chapter posted. Thanks for reading.  
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	26. March 14, 2010

**A/N: Important note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: Recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Journalward and Notebooksper are all Robyn.  
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March 14, 2010

This morning we surprised Mama Whitlock. Jasper was on spring break and he luckily didn't have to meet with his study group. When we walked in to the restaurant hand in hand, the smile on Mama's face lit up the room. It had been months since we'd all had Sunday brunch together and she was thrilled. We took our time, ordering coffee first and talking for well over an hour before we'd ordered our food. She was so happy to have both of her boys together with her that she went from table to table, telling her friends to come say hello before they left. After our food was served, we told her that we had planned on spending the entire day with her, seeing as it would be our last brunch with her before our wedding day. After she had heard that, there was nothing that would take the smile off of her face.

When we were stuffed to the point of bursting, we decided our first place to visit would require some walking so we could burn off some calories. Jasper really wanted to see the "Butterflies in the Garden" exhibit at the Botanic Gardens. He knew his mother would really enjoy seeing them as she loved nature. Mama Whitlock spent more time outdoors than in. She spent time tending her garden and flowers every day that the weather permitted. When it was cold outside, she lovingly tended to all of the plants around her house that she cared for. Jasper and I had converted one room into a sun room for her, so she could enjoy the sun even when it was cold outside.

Jasper and I each held one of her hands as we went through the exhibit. It was really breathtaking, all of the different colors fluttering around us, and Mama was in awe. Brilliant hues surrounded us and my breath caught in my throat as I watched Jasper. He looked gorgeous, hand reaching out, hoping to catch one on the tip of his long finger. His eyes shone brightly, nearly the same shade as the beautiful blue butterflies surrounding him. His smile was huge and the dimples were out in full force. I swallowed back the emotion clogging my throat and wiped away the tear collecting in the corner of one eye. I really was the luckiest man in the world. I could barely contain my joy, knowing that handsome man was the light of my life. Jasper's zest for life was one of the things I treasured about him most. Sometimes I was so serious and he balanced me out perfectly. I fell more in love with him every passing day.

When we had finished walking through the exhibit, it was my turn to pick our next activity. I knew Mama really wanted to see 'Alice in Wonderland', so we took her to see it in 3-D. I was still overstuffed from brunch, but was not at all surprised when Jasper went to the snack bar and ordered nachos covered with cheese and jalapenos, a hot dog and a Coke. Mama leaned over and whispered to me that he was a growing boy and I smiled while rolling my eyes playfully. We sat on either side of her and it didn't bother me the least bit not to sit by Jasper when he was about to ingest all of that junk food.

The movie was great and we all enjoyed it. Mama was tired by the time it was over, so we took her to her car and kissed her goodbye. She told us how much fun she'd had and that she was so excited about everyone coming to stay with her for the wedding. Jasper and I stopped for a quick sushi dinner on the way home, both of us a little worn out by the day as well. We sat at the table together, eating with chopsticks in one hand and linking pinkies with the other. It was a nice ending to a perfect day with Mama...and to a really perfect weekend all around.

It had been a wonderful, but long, day and we were both a little overwhelmed by the time we arrived at our home. We silently stripped out of our clothes and climbed into our bed. We instinctively turned to face one another and I snuggled into Jasper's arms to face him, whispering that I couldn't wait to get married before kissing his perfect lips. He murmured that he loved me before gently slipping his tongue inside my mouth, tasting all of me. I moved my tongue alongside his, taking my time and savoring the flavor of the sweet cavern of his mouth. He was sweet and spicy and just perfect. I loved him with all of my heart. We fell asleep wrapped up together, legs entwined and full of love.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: OnTheTurningAway here again... To say our girl has gone to great lengths to bring us this edition of Journalward would be a gross understatement. Please note that there may be a delay in the posting of the next chapter. Thank you for reading :)  
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	27. March 15, 2010

**A/N: Please see important note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

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March 15, 2010

When I woke up and realized it was Monday, I pulled a Jasper. I pulled the covers up over my head, snuggled down and acted like I didn't need to get up. After last week I was not at all looking forward to this week. Jasper had the whole week off since he worked at the college and it was spring break. Lucky boy! I closed my eyes, wanting about thirty more minutes of sleep when I heard a deep chuckle next to me before a finger started trailing up the length of my body. I felt him move and then he pulled the pillow off of my head, whispering 'Wake up sleepyhead' into my ear. Acting like a child, I pouted and said no before recovering my head.

Jasper crawled on top of me, his warm, naked skin making other parts of my body wake up. I grinned into the pillow, hoping he would continue his wake-up call. I feigned sleep, feeling him slide down a bit before his hot, wet mouth was open on my neck, kissing and licking my throat while his hands wandered over my body. Jasper gently bit into my neck, making me moan out loud, he knew that drove me crazy. He then trailed his mouth down my chest, softly scraping and biting with his teeth along the way. I moved the pillow and propped it up behind my head. One of my favorite things to see was Jasper's mouth on my body. It was fucking hot to watch.

Jasper looked up at me, grinning and playfully nipping at me before placing a kiss to the side of my navel. He looked at me and mouthed that he loved me before kissing his way down and whispering how much he needed me. I watched as his long, pink tongue came out of his parted lips and traced around the rim of my cock. Then he dragged his tongue all the way up from the base of my dick up to the tip before wrapping his mouth around it and sucking hard. I groaned his name as I felt him slowly move his head up and down, making me slick and wet. I slid my fingers into his hair and he raised his head up to look at me. There was nothing fucking sexier or more erotic in this world than the sight of Jasper with his mouth around my cock, eyes full of lust and love. It was incredible.

I whispered that I needed him too, badly, before I reached down sideways. He knew what I wanted, smiled at me and turned around, getting on all fours so his beautiful dick was dangling just above my lips. I growled out his name before pulling his hips down and bringing his cock into my mouth. He plunged back down onto mine, moaning and groaning as he worked his mouth into a frenzy. Jasper's mouth was tighter than a vacuum and I was so close to cumming but wanted us to do it together. I licked my fingers, then wrapped my hands around his hips and moved them down until I was trailing my fingers along the sides of his ass. Moving over slowly, I finally reached where I wanted to touch and circled the rim of his ass with my wet finger, pressing but not pushing in. Jasper cried out around my dick, so I opened up my throat until he was all the way at the back, swallowing around him before pressing one more time against him. He screamed my name and tugged on my balls, sending me plunging over the edge and I came hard into his mouth while he shot ribbons of cum down mine. It was the best fucking wake up I'd had in a long time...

When we were done, Jasper crawled back up my body and laid his head on my chest before murmuring that I was going to be late if I didn't get in the shower. He propped himself up, kissed me and told me he would make my coffee and lunch while I got ready. After that, my busy day passed in a big blur. Work was insane and was only going to get worse, but I kept my eye on the prize...I had Jasper to come home to.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: OnTheTurningAway here, again... Robyn asked me to pass along her thanks for all of the kind words, thoughts and prayers she's received this week. She's hopeful that things will return to normal soon. In the meantime, she continues to move virtual mountains to get these chapters to me so they can be posted for all of us to enjoy. ****Please note that there may be a delay in the posting of the next chapter. Thank you for reading :)**


	28. March 16, 2010

**A/N: See important note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer.  
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March 16, 2010

Today, I wanted Jasper to take a trip down memory lane to one of the first dates I planned for us when we had moved to Texas. He was a huge sports fan, but unfortunately for me the one sport I liked was the only one he didn't watch and I was bound and determined to change that. Jasper adored football and basketball, especially college level. I was a huge fan of hockey.

There was a Dallas Stars game tonight, so although I knew I would be busy at work, I got tickets for us to go. It would be a nice surprise for Jasper. When we first moved here, I was thrilled there was a decent hockey team. Our first week here, I took Jasper to see the Stars play. It was the first time he had ever seen a hockey game and he was enthralled. He loved seeing the aggressiveness of the players, the flying of the puck and there were even several brawls. Jasper cheered loudest during those. To say he enjoyed it was an understatement.

I wanted to surprise him, make this our date night of the week. I left him a note on the pillow next to his sleeping form this morning, telling him to meet me at my office tonight at 6PM, that I had plans for date night and for him to wear his hockey jersey. I spent the day buried under paperwork, being pulled in three different directions. I was glad I had finalized the plans this morning while he was sleeping. When 5:58 PM rolled around, I shut off my computer and raced downstairs to meet my handsome boy. When I walked into the lobby, there he was in his Modano jersey, looking as delectable as ever. I wanted to say forget the date, take him up to my office and fuck his brains out, with the jersey on of course. He just leaned against the wall, looking at me with a slight smirk, knowing what I was thinking.

I grabbed his hand and we headed out, driving to the train station so we could ride downtown to the arena. It was a much better option than sitting in traffic. Once we got there we bought beer, foot-long, chili-cheese hot dogs, french fries, a sack of peanuts and churros; for Jasper, I ingested a giant meal full of fattening crap. Our tickets were right behind the bench and Jasper was getting more and more out of breath as the game went on. He was screaming and cheering, making a spectacle of himself with every other crazy fan out there. I was enjoying every minute. When the buzzer went off, indicating the end of the second period, Jasper turned to me with that look in his eyes and I knew I was in trouble. He leaned forward and growled that he needed me now, grabbed my hand and tugged me out into the hallway.

Jasper discreetly tried different doors we passed to see if they were unlocked. When we were about half-way around the stadium, we struck gold. The door opened to a long hallway and the first door inside was a private bathroom that had a lock on the door and a couch inside. Jasper locked the door and pinned me to the wall, slamming his mouth onto mine, bruising me with the force of his kiss. That was the kind of pain I would take any day. He worked his tongue furiously in and out of my mouth while reaching down to undo my pants. When they were undone, he pushed me back on the couch and told me to watch him in the mirror. Surprised, I looked up and saw us in our own starring roles in a fucking hot porn movie.

I was sprawled out on the couch and had a perfect profile view of Jasper on his knees as his mouth wrapped around my cock. It was such a fucking turn-on and I knew I wasn't going to last long. My eyes never leaving the mirror, I grabbed Jasper's head and watched myself as I bucked up into his mouth while his hands touched me everywhere he could reach. He moved his head up and down and I could see the shiny wetness of his lips as they moved over and over around my cock. He was so graceful, so beautiful, and he made me feel like I could fly with him by my side. He picked up his head and met my eyes in the mirror before telling me he loved sucking my cock and taking me back in his mouth. He suctioned hard and my body fell apart underneath him. I watched my gorgeous boy swallow all around me, then lick and kiss me until I was all clean. He was fucking amazing.

Jasper whispered 'thank you' and 'I love you' against my mouth before kissing me softly and sweetly. When I attempted to return the favor, he wouldn't let me, saying that he wanted to do that for me, for taking him on this wonderful date. We walked out hand in hand with matching smiles on our faces and finished watching the game. When we walked in the door, I stripped Jasper of all his clothes and showed my appreciation for his exhibitionist ways. He went to bed a happy, satisfied man. As the wedding drew closer and the days passed, all the things we had neglected, but were now remembering, were bringing us closer together than ever and I was thankful I started this project. It was worth it.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: OnTheTurningAway here... Robyn wanted me to pass along her continued thanks for all of the kind words, thoughts and prayers she's received over the past few days. We're keeping our fingers crossed that she'll be back to her normal routine in the next day or two. In the meantime, ****I know it would do wonders for our girl's spirits to hear ****what everyone thinks of this fun and sexy chapter! As always, thank you for reading.**


	29. March 17, 2010

**A/N: First of all, thank you so much for all your wonderful words, thoughts and prayers while I was away…you have no idea how much they all meant to me. I read each and every review, note, PM, tweet and email…you guys rock, that is all. **

**Now…there are no words for all that OnTheTurningAway did for me while I was gone, you guys have no idea. Without her, the journal would have stopped, she took my mess I sent her, fixed it and posted it for me with no complaints and she did it for you as well as me. I love her more than Swedish Fish…that is saying something! I gave her the night off tonight, so all mistakes, grammar or otherwise are all mine.**

**Disclaimer: I own cute green shamrock toe socks…SM owns the rest.**

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March 17, 2009

When I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to be a great day. How could you go wrong with St. Patrick's day? It was one holiday that Jasper and I both celebrated with gusto and I knew I was going to wake up with a slight hangover tomorrow, but man was it worth it.

Jasper woke me up and once again made a delicious breakfast of Shredded Wheat and berries, with whole milk of course. He was trying so hard and I didn't have the heart to tell him it was like drinking heavy whipping cream. He poured my coffee, handed me my lunch and sent me out the door with a kiss and the promise of fun times tonight. I couldn't fucking wait.

Work sucked. I only had a few more days before I was off for the next three weeks, but I was still having a hard time getting through the day. My boss was being an asshole to me, I kept telling myself that it was because he was going to be in a world of hurt while I was gone, but it didn't make him any easier to tolerate. The workload I was buried under was made worse by his constant bitching about me taking too much time off. He was the one who approved it, he could have said no, so I really didn't feel sorry for him. When lunchtime rolled around, I was ready to get out of there, so I took my lunch to the park to eat.

I sat down on a bench and opened up my cooler. There was a turkey sandwich, baked chips, an apple and a water. I loved Jasper so much for doing that for me, he didn't have to get up and make my food when he was off and could sleep in, so I appreciated it even more. There was a small package at the bottom, tied with a ribbon made from a few twist ties. He was certainly original. Smiling, I opened it and my mouth fell open. It was a bottle of green apple flavored lube with a Post-it note that said 'Happy Saint Patty's Day Edward...later, I will lick this off every inch of your dick...Love, J'. This was getting bad, we were both about to lose it, horny beyond belief and desperate for any kind of sexual release. He was going to get it, I was sitting in the park, needing to go back to work but had a hard-on that wouldn't go away.

It took about ten minutes and thoughts of having sex with a girl to make it disappear, it was ridiculous. My afternoon flew by, and before I knew it I was racing out the door and on my way to meet Jasper at our place so we could walk to the pub and drink green beer and Jell-o shots. When I walked in the door, Jasper was wearing a tee shirt that said 'Blow me I'm Irish' and he had one for me that said 'Rub my Shamrock for Good Luck'. I burst out laughing when I saw it, put on some jeans and wore the shirt for my man. Sometimes I wondered about him, but he was so fucking fun to be around, my life would be so boring without him.

Holding hands, we walked to the pub, grabbed a small table and started drinking. I lost count sometime around my fourth beer and third Jell-o shot. I barely remember stumbling home with Jasper in tow. He was much better at handling alcohol then I was, must be the Irish part of him. When we walked in the apartment, I fell onto the couch, ready to sleep off the buzz. Jasper was going to have none of that, he scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom while kissing my forehead. I nuzzled against him, loving the smell of beer on him, it was delicious.

Jasper laid me on the bed, and slowly undressed me, kissing me everywhere he exposed. I watched him from under my heavy lids, his lips on my skin lit me on fire. When he had me stripped to my boxers, he pulled out the green apple lube and asked me if I was really that tired. I shook my head and smiled at him while reaching out to caress his skin. He was naked and hard, his need for me evident. He popped open the top and poured a thin strip from the hollow of my throat down to my navel. It was cold and I jumped slightly when it hit me. Jasper told me I wouldn't be cold for long before lowering his mouth to my throat. I was drunk and horny and all of my nerves were burning with lust. His tongue lapped at the line and I watched him slowly make his way down, it was fucking torture. My cock was about to explode and he wasn't anywhere near it.

Jasper's tongue was magic. He put just the right amount of pressure on my skin to make me cry out in ecstasy over and over again as he licked my body. When he finally made it to the end of the line, I felt him bite into my hip and the pleasure was so intense that I reached down to grab my dick. He growled 'no' at me and covered my body with his, grabbing my hands and quickly tying them to the headboard behind me. His eyes were smoldering as he sat back and studied my body as I twisted against the silk he bound me with. He placed his lips on mine, licked the lower one and then slipped his tongue into my mouth. We kissed hungrily, tongues fucking each other's mouths like we wished our bodies would. He tugged off my boxers as he kissed me. Then, he poured lube in his hand, stroked himself twice, knelt over me so our cocks were lined up and started moving his hips slowly.

Jasper was moaning my name as his cock moved back and forth over mine. I wanted to grab his hips and make him push harder, but my hands were bound and his lips were against mine. It was hot as hell for him to murmur my name over and over again against my mouth. He trailed kisses along my jaw and stopped right at my ear, where he whispered for me to close my eyes and act like he was fucking me. I groaned, closed my eyes and let my imagination fly. He was moving faster and faster, telling me how fucking tight I was, how he loved to be buried inside me, how good my ass felt around him. I was thrusting against him, telling him how good his cock felt inside me, how much I loved feeling him slam into me over and over again and how bad I wanted to feel him cum inside my ass.

Jasper cried out, screaming my name as he tensed above me. I let myself go too and groaned his name loudly as our cocks throbbed and came at the same time. It was slippery, wet and fucking beautiful all at once. We didn't care that we were covered in our own mess as he untied me and our arms wrapped tightly around each other. Jasper whispered that he loved me so damn much and I told him that I loved him too. Sometimes the power of our emotions overwhelmed me and I almost felt like crying after that mind-blowing experience. He always knew what I needed, what I was feeling and right on cue he looked at me and kissed me before picking me up and carrying me into the shower. He washed me off as well as himself, then dried us both off before carrying me back to bed.

The combination of the alcohol and what he did to me in our bed made me a sleepy man, so he tucked me in, crawled in behind me and held me close until we fell asleep. How did I get so lucky? He was the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow...

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: The links to the shirts the boys wore are on my profile. Blame this horny chapter on OnTheTurningAway and JRath…we were watching YouTube vids of him while pondering the perfection of his peen and getting all hot and bothered…he is so fucking hot!**

**Reviews make me a happy girl.****  
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	30. March 18, 2010

**A/N: I am literally in tears as I realize that we are in the home stretch. There are only 10 more updates after this…and I cannot believe the number of reviews to go along with these boys. Over 800!!! Holy shit!!! You guys might send this baby to 1000 by the time it is done…speaking of done…if you don't have me on author alert…do it! The wedding and honeymoon o/s's will post separately from the journal so Jasper can get his POV in there too.**

**OnTheTurningAway is back today, fixing my messes and just being the best ever…I love her…for reals!**

**Disclaimer: I own 100 Monkeys tickets that I use to entice my beta with…SM owns the rest.**

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March 18, 2010

This morning when I woke up, it felt like a freight train had plowed through my head. I was afraid to open my eyes and I didn't want to see the light because that meant it was time to get up and I was not ready to get out of bed. I only had two more days of work, but with as bad as I felt, today was going to feel like a week. I groaned and looked over at my sleeping Jasper. He looked so peaceful, sweet and innocent, but after last night, I knew there was nothing innocent about him. Wishing he was awake, I pushed myself out of bed and went to make my coffee. In a few short days I had gotten used to him taking care of me in the morning and really wanted him to get up and talk to me before I left, but I just couldn't do it to him. He needed to sleep too.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek when I left and headed into work. It was going to be a shitty day and it was all my fault. Drinking that much was never a smart move when there was work to be done the next day, but St. Patrick's only happened once a year and I could deal with it. Usually my hangovers got better as time passed, but as the day dragged on, I felt worse and worse. When lunchtime rolled around, my boss came in my office and told me to go home and that I looked terrible. I tried to protest, but he felt my head, said I was burning up and told me to shoo. I gathered up my things, went to the car and drove home. It was a chore to pull myself up the stairs and when I opened the door, Jasper took one look at me and rushed forward.

It was such a relief to collapse into his arms, I felt like utter shit and wanted a bed. Jasper felt my head and told me I had a fever, then helped me walk into our room where he took off all my clothes and tucked me in. He came in and brought Tylenol for me to take and then stripped and laid down with me. I told him to go to the living room so he wouldn't get sick, but he shushed me and told me if he was going to get sick, it would happen no matter what. He sat against the headboard and I laid my head in his lap. Jasper kept running his fingers through my hair as I fought to keep my eyes open, but finally I gave in.

Sleeping was awesome, but sleeping on Jasper's lap was the best. His skin against my face and knowing if I turned my head his dick would be readily accessible to my mouth made him the most wonderful pillow in the world. Times like these I was grateful that Jasper preferred to go without clothes. He was the best medicine in the world and no doctor could give me better care than him. Jasper's presence was healing to my body and soul. I snuggled down in his lap, placed a soft kiss on his cock and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, Jasper was watching one of his favorite television shows called Man vs Food. It was so gross to watch as the host went from restaurant to restaurant trying to eat these enormous portions of food. Jasper watched him in awe but I always tried not to puke. He bent down and kissed my cheek and told me he was dying to go to this place since it wasn't that far from home. The diner was called LuLu's Cafe and Bakery in San Antonio and the host was about to attempt to gorge on a three pound cinnamon roll. The fucker was massive and Jasper was cheering him on, telling me that he could do it no problem and would love to try. I felt awful and seeing the man eat was making it worse. I rolled over and faced Jasper's stomach and proceeded to kiss and nuzzle his belly while he thought of ways to fill it with junk. At the end of the show there was a promo about ordering the cinnamon rolls online and I decided it would be much better to do that rather than drive for five hours to eat one. I would order one when he wasn't around and surprise him.

Later that night Jasper went out and bought me chicken noodle soup from Chick-Fil-A, the only place I would eat it from, and I ate it all up hoping I could shake this bug and get my work done tomorrow. Jasper made sure I took medicine, drank my fluids and ate my soup. He was so good to me and I told him so as I fell asleep next to him, telling him I loved him more than ever.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me happy!! If you have been reading and not showing the boys review love, leave them some in the last home stretch…it makes it all worth it!!**

**Thank you again for all your rocking words of love…I am glad to be back guys!!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers…you guys make my heart a full and happy place…that is all. I hope you enjoy this as we head into the last ten chapters.**

**Thank you OnTheTurningAway, your editing skills make my ugly pretty, you are the best and I love you…that is all.**

**Disclaimer: I own a cute wristlet that I carry everywhere…SM owns the wrist.**

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March 19, 2010

When I woke up this morning, I only felt marginally better. I still had a fever and my head was throbbing with pressure. I knew I had a sinus infection as I got them a few times a year. When I tried to sit up, the whole room started to spin so I laid down with a groan, hoping the pounding would disappear soon so I could get ready for work. There was no way I could miss today and still be able to take my three week vacation. There was just way to much to do. After about fifteen minutes, I tried sitting up again and was able to stand up without falling over. Looking at the bed, I noticed Jasper was absent and I assumed he moved out to the couch so he wouldn't catch what I had. I walked towards the bathroom, stopping at the dresser along the way to lean against it and let my equilibrium balance out. I was fucking dizzy.

When I started walking again I heard Jasper's voice behind me asking what the hell I was doing and telling me to get my ass back in bed. When I started to protest he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and plopped me back in bed. That certainly didn't help my head and I made sure he knew it. He was such a smart ass, telling me that if I felt bad enough for my head to hurt from that, then I shouldn't be at work infecting the masses. I pulled the pillow over my head and told him to go away.

Jasper pulled off the pillow, handed me my medicine and told me he already called and talked to my boss as I drank the pills down. I wasn't at all comfortable that he had done that, so I reached for my cell to call him myself. After talking to Mr. Banner, he confirmed that he did not want me there sick and told me to get well and have a good vacation. I thanked him, apologizing once again before hanging up and falling back asleep.

After awhile, Jasper woke me up, telling me he had called my doctor and gotten my prescription from the pharmacy. To say that this man was perfect was an understatement, he took the best care of me when I was sick. I sat up, took the antibiotic and crashed again. When I woke up, it was dusk outside and I actually felt human again. The meds the doctor gave me always started to work pretty quickly on me. I was sweaty and felt disgusting, so I decided to take a quick shower before going out in the living room to join Jasper. I got up and walked towards the bathroom, not noticing until I pushed open the door that the room was full of steam.

Looking at the shower, I saw the most gorgeous sight in front of me. There, behind the foggy glass door of the shower was Jasper, mouth open, eyes closed and hand stroking his cock. My eyes went directly to his hand, watching him move it up and down his soapy dick, rubbing his thumb over the head slowly with each upward stroke. I sat down on the floor, getting the perfect view of his cock in front of my face. I wanted so desperately to get in there with him and taste the head, licking all the beads of water from it, but I just couldn't, so I watched instead.

Jasper braced one hand on top of the shower door and leaned his forehead on the glass as he started stroking faster. My cock was so hard and I felt like I was about to burst, so I stuck my hand in my boxers and pulled my dick out, quickly stroking along with him. Jasper's hand was moving faster and faster, his groans getting louder and louder and I was ready to cum quickly. I was so fucking turned on by watching him touch his cock and stroke it with perfect precision. My eyes were on his beautiful face, flushed not only from the steam of the shower but from being so turned on as well. His teeth were biting into his lower lip and then his brilliant, blue eyes opened and zeroed in on my stroking hand.

He hissed my name and we watched each other, our hands moving in tandem with one another, our voices mingling as we cried out in pleasure. He was amazing, moving so fluidly, like a dancer with choreographed moves. His muscles were rippling, begging for my touch as I sat on the floor watching. Then, he called out my name as the glass was coated with stream after stream of his cum. It was fucking delicious to watch. I stroked furiously, wanting so badly to relieve the ache in my cock. Jasper told me to look at him, when I did, he traced his lower lip with his tongue before telling me he had imagined being inside me while he was jacking off. That was all it took, imagining the feel of his cock in my ass and I came forcefully in my hand, calling his name and moving my hand until I was empty.

I slowly stood up, removed my clothes and got in the shower with Jasper. I leaned my head against the wall, letting him wash me, as our activities had worn me out. When we were done, we dried off, crawled back into bed and snuggled close. I was asleep in no time.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make me jump for joy and write more citrusy goodness…**


	32. March 20, 2010

**A/N: Your reviews continue to blow me away. I read each and every one, they make me smile and laugh.**

**Thanks to OnTheTurningAway who edits my shit and loves me still…she is my favorite girl**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of boy porn…SM owns the rest.**

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March 20, 2010

This morning when I woke up, I felt so much better. The antibiotics were kicking in and I was like a new man. The headache and pressure were gone and I was so excited to spend our last day together before the chaos began. Mom and Alice were coming in tomorrow and we wouldn't get a moment's peace after that. Since I would chalk this up to our last official date, I wanted to make it a whole day with an overnight stay. I wanted this to be special for both of us, a night to remember before the wedding.

I was taking Jasper to a secluded cottage overnight. We would be treated to body scrubs, full body aromatherapy massages and then a private hour in the different saunas. There was a private entrance from the cottage to the spa itself. They were going to serve us dinner and champagne and then breakfast in the morning. As much as I wished the sex ban weren't in place, I couldn't wait to do this with Jasper.

I had packed our bags the night before, not telling Jasper where we were going or what we were doing. I blindfolded him when he sat down in the car and drove the two hours to get there, Jasper whining the whole time about not being able to see. I kept laughing and taunting him with different images we passed along the way. My boy was a nature lover and I knew he hated not being able to see, but I truly wanted him to be surprised when he saw it. I had put a lot of thought into this day and I wasn't going to let anything ruin it.

When we finally pulled up, I told him to sit tight while I went inside and checked in. The owner of the cottage was the same person I had spoken with over the phone and she was so thrilled to have us. She said everything was all set up, handed me the keys, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. I opened Jasper's door and got him out of the car, walking him to the front door. Unlocking it, I opened the door and went inside while pulling Jasper with me. Reaching up to his handsome face, I kissed him gently, tasting his lips with my tongue before removing the blindfold. His face was a sight to behold as he took in the luxurious room with the king-sized bed in the middle.

Jasper pulled me to him and hugged me tightly before sealing my mouth with his. He plundered my mouth over and over again as he slowly walked me towards the bed. When the backs of my legs hit the mattress, I fell backwards, pulling him with me. Jasper's body felt sinfully wonderful against my own. The weight of him on top of me was a wonderful feeling. He kissed me hungrily, desperately, pulling at my hair and grinding his hips into mine. My body responded with the same furious desire and our clothes were quickly shed until we were both naked.

Jasper straddled me, making his long, hard cock bounce slightly and I was hungry for it. I wanted to take him deep down my throat and suck him dry. His dick was so fucking beautiful. I reached out my hand to touch it and Jasper stopped me. He told me he needed to fuck me so bad, that this was killing him, to please just let him, this once. His pleas were so desperate, so passionate and I was ready to say yes, ready to feel him inside me once again. I was desperate for the burn, the sting of him stretching me but we were almost there. Putting my hands in his hair, I pulled his mouth down to mine and told him I loved him before kissing him slowly, trying to calm him down.

Jasper cried my name into my mouth, trying hard to get his dick underneath me. He needed to cum so badly and I would get him there, but I didn't want to mess up the covers already. Sitting up slowly without breaking the kiss, I held him against me, loving the feel of his warm skin on mine. Finally, I pulled back and told him to kneel in front of me. He groaned out loud when he realized what I was going to do. Jasper got on his knees, placing the tip of his swollen cock right against my lips and I kissed it once before sticking my tongue in the slit and scooping out the pre-cum gathered there.

Jasper growled my name in warning and I quickly opened my mouth as he shoved his dick in immediately. I opened my mouth wide around him and sat in place while he grabbed my head and slammed his hips repeatedly into my mouth. He was rough, hitting the back of my throat with each stroke and I loved every second of it. Only I could make him this horny, this frantic and this wild. He was fucking my face so hard that his balls were slapping my chin with every thrust and it only took minutes before he cried out my name while cumming in thick, wet jets down my throat. He kept moving his hips until he was spent, then collapsed backwards on the bed, sighing loudly.

I laid down next to him, tired and sore in the jaw, but it was worth it to see him let loose like that. Jasper reached down to grab my dick, but I pushed his hands away, telling him the massage therapists would be here in fifteen minutes for our massages. His eyes lit up at that, he was excited about it. We both put on boxers, and at 12:15PM on the dot, there was a knock on the door. We quickly donned the robes and I opened the doors. Two handsome, buff, tan men stood there, massage tables in hand. They told us to take a seat while they set up.

The men drew the shades, lit candles and asked us to lie face down with no clothes on. We grinned before stripping out of our robes and underwear, laying down, looking at one another. They draped towels over us and proceeded to do a body scrub. It was scintillating and felt so cleansing. They used peppermint and we tingled everywhere. After they were done, we showered the scrub off quickly and then returned to the tables, where they turned us into puddles of goo by rubbing oil after oil into our skin. We were so relaxed and before long, I watched as Jasper actually fell asleep. He was so fucking cute.

When the masseurs where done, they told us we had one private hour in the saunas. I could have laid there forever, but had no desire to waste the hour I had alone with Jasper in the sauna. I held his hand and led him through the door in our room into the spa area. There was a dry, wet and base rock sauna. We walked into the wet sauna first, Jasper sat next to me and I tossed both towels in a corner and leaned my head back against the wall. It was hot and steamy and it felt so fucking good to sit in there. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and looked over at Jasper and my breath stuck in my throat.

Jasper was exquisite, the beads of sweat rolling down his torso and ending at his dick laying between his legs. His eyes were closed and I wanted so badly to straddle him and ride him long and hard. As if he could sense my eyes on him, his flew open and our gazes locked. I was taking deep, slow breaths and he watched my chest move in and out. My cock was hard and throbbing and I watch Jasper open his mouth and lick his lips as he stared at it. I was so fucking turned on and I whispered his name, beckoning him over to me.

Jasper stood up, his honeyed skin covered in wetness from the steam. His hair fell in dark blond locks around his face and his midnight blue eyes were shining with passion and desire. He walked over to me slowly, carefully and his cock bounced with each step. It was mesmerizing. The muscles in his long, lean legs moved gracefully under his skin as he stalked towards me. He was fucking beautiful and he was mine.

Jasper said nothing, just laid me down on the bench, pushing me all the way to the wall before plunging his mouth down around my cock. I cried out and bucked frantically into his mouth, but he grabbed my hips tightly, holding me still as he took a few more leisurely licks of my cock. It was heaven and hell all at once. My body was on fire, desperate for release that only he could provide, and he knew it. Jasper lifted his mouth from my cock then leaned over to kiss me. I grabbed his face and swept my tongue through every secret place hidden in his mouth. We kissed for another minute before he pulled away, smirking before turning and lying down in front of me. He pushed his mouth down around my cock and i closed my eyes in pleasure. It felt so fucking good.

Jasper was getting impatient as he took his mouth away and growled at me to suck his dick. Who was I to deny my boy? I placed my lips on the head, using my tongue to tease the rim before sucking him all the way down. We laid there, sucking each other, our heads moving frantically and fingers teasing. Jasper was moving faster and faster, pressing a finger against my ass and I tried to push, begging for him to enter me, but he pulled it away. I tugged on his balls, taking him all the way down my throat and I felt him tighten before he started cumming hard and fierce. He drove in deeper with each thrust until I drank all he had to give me.

After he was finished, he sucked me even harder and faster, gently biting the head before plunging down and I was spiraling out of control. It was too much and I let go, shooting into his mouth over and over again until I was spent. We were both panting hard and I pulled him so he was lying with his face next to me on the bench. I needed to taste him, to taste us as our flavors mixed together, so I kissed him, slipping my tongue into his mouth and moaning at the perfection.

Jasper was perfect, he was mine, we were getting married next week and I couldn't fucking wait.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: Not gonna lie, I watched a lot of pretty boys fucking today, you can thank my beta for that, so this one had double the lemony fun…hope you enjoyed.**

**Reviews make me keep going with these boys.**


	33. March 21, 2010

**A/N: You guys are the best readers in the world…that's all.**

**Thank you to my lovely beta OnTheTurningAway…she fixes my booboos and makes my world go 'round.**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of Chucks…SM owns the rest.**

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March 21, 2010

Dinner last night was wonderful. The owner made everything to order and I had grilled chicken with orzo and veggies. For Jasper I ordered a chicken fried steak, covered in gravy, with mashed potatoes and corn. He was in heaven as he ate every single bite, there was nothing left on his plate when we were done. We were both still so relaxed from our massages and fun times in the sauna that we went to sleep early, knowing Sunday was going to be a long day.

When we woke up this morning, we had breakfast at the cottage and hugged the owner goodbye, promising to come back one day. We left a little later than I wanted to, but Jasper was bound and determined to fool around this morning, even laying on the bed naked and stroking his cock to try an entice me back. He was so horrible sometimes, but I was strong. We had places to be today since my mom and the tornado known as Alice were coming in.

By the time we got back to the city, my mom had called me and told me that they were here and were having brunch with Mama Whitlock. Jasper and I went back to the apartment to drop off our things before heading over to his mother's. I was in the laundry room, unpacking the dirty clothes, and I sent Jasper to go take care of the toiletries and clean clothes. I decided to go ahead and run a load of laundry while I was in there. I had just closed the lid of the washer when I felt Jasper grab my hips from behind and pull them flush with his. His hard cock was nestled between my ass cheeks and he placed his mouth on my neck, kissing his way down before biting into the bottom of my neck. He murmured that he went in our room and saw the picture and had to have me now, he couldn't wait.

I turned in Jasper's arms and told him we were so close to the end, for him to hold out for a little bit longer and it would all be worth it. He grabbed my face and kissed me hungrily, telling me to screw 'worth it' as he lifted me up on top of the washer. He continued to kiss, lick and nip at my mouth while undoing all the buttons of my shirt and pulling it off. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer and pulling his hands from my face. When I pulled back, all I saw was a desperate man. His eyes were so full of need, his breathing was ragged and his mouth red and shiny from kissing me. I pulled his mouth back to mine and kissed him chastely twice before jumping down in front of him and hugging him tightly.

Jasper was such a virile, sexual being and this was so hard on him. In the original rules I wrote out I promised myself this wouldn't be that hard for him, that he would get enough satisfaction that it wouldn't be that hard for him. True to my word, I undid his pants, pulled out his hard, swollen cock and knelt in front of him. I took him all the way into my mouth and he groaned out loud, gripping the dryer behind him and throwing his head back. He was so worked up it wouldn't take long, I could tell. I moved my mouth up and down his shaft, licking around the head each time before plunging back down. Jasper's body was moving frantically, his hips thrusting wildly and as I felt him tense up, I pushed him all the way to the back of my throat and swallowed around him as he came hard in my mouth. I kept him in my mouth until he started to soften, then released him. He was still leaning against the dryer, his head back.

I stood up and redid his pants, telling him we really had to go before I kissed him and walked out. My cock was throbbing behind my jeans, but it wasn't about me, it was about him. This was all my idea and I would suffer the consequences. It was almost over and I couldn't wait. Our wedding night was going to be mind blowing and our honeymoon fabulous. Jasper was going to leave me sore, tired and wanting more. That was the kind of man he was. He already had everything he wanted for our fun times packed in a carry-on bag, saying no way was that getting lost.

That afternoon, we went over to Mama Whitlock's and had a happy, hug-filled reunion. Alice was looking at me and telling me my tux wasn't going to fit if I didn't eat more and she told Jasper he looked as perfect as ever. We had dinner that night and played Scrabble. I proudly beat the pants off everyone. It was a great night and we knew the week was about to get busy.

We went home that night and immediately shed all of our clothes before crawling into bed. Jasper pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms and legs around me. I told him I loved him and he kissed my head whispering the same. I burrowed into his chest and fell asleep with the rhythm of his heart beating underneath my cheek.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make the home stretch easier to write…don't forget to put me on author alert so you get the notices for the wedding and honeymoon one-shots.**


	34. March 22, 2010

**A/N: These boys are getting bad people…I hope they hold out. I write what they tell me, so there might be some explosive scenes in the last days. Thank you again for all your reviews, they make me keep on!**

**A huge thank you to OnTheTurningAway who takes time EVERY DAY, to beta this so it doesn't look like a child wrote it and I love her for that…for reals!**

**Disclaimer: I won all kinds of crap…SM owns the rest.**

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March 22, 2010

Today I decided there is only one word to describe my future husband - Insatiable. This morning I was having the best dream. Jasper was down on his knees with my balls in his mouth, stroking them with his tongue over and over again. I was moaning his name and had my fingers tightly wound in his hair. It felt so good, I had to wake up and when I looked down I realized it wasn't a fucking dream. Jasper was under the sheets with my cock in his hand while rolled my balls around in his mouth. I was so hard it was painful and I saw the drop of pre-cum roll down my head and onto his hand. He released me gently before meeting my eyes, looking at me with those navy blue, lust filled eyes while he licked the liquid running down his hand.

Jasper told me it was my turn to fuck his face and then he was going to fuck mine and I nearly burst right then. He was so fucking hot as he jerked my arms towards him, bringing me to my knees. He brought my face towards his and kissed me so quickly, so fiercely that he took my breath away and I was panting when he let me go. He took my hands and leaned me forward, wrapping them around the foot board, and then he slid between my legs until I could see his face, my cock pointed directly over his mouth. He looked up at me and told me not to be gentle, that he needed me to fuck him hard. I was a little unsure, not wanting to hurt him in any way, but when he opened his mouth and licked the head of my cock, I lost it and slammed down into his open mouth.

Jasper groaned with the force of my thrust, then wrapped his lips tightly around me as I pushed into his mouth over and over again, hitting the back of his throat and dying a little each time he swallowed around me. It felt so fucking good, the hot, silky wet heat and the suction of his cheeks. I gripped the bed tightly, grunting loudly and sliding my dick in and out rapidly. I looked down at Jasper, his eyes were closed and he looked so fucking sexy with his mouth around my dick. I watched as I moved between his lips, they formed a perfect circle around me and I loved seeing the red of his mouth against the pale skin of my dick.

Jasper pulled his mouth away, grabbed me and started sucking my ball hard as he slid his hand up and down my cock and I started to lose it. He could feel me getting tense and told me I better not fucking come unless it was in his mouth. I was feeling wild and free and told him to lay the fuck down so I could cum. He smiled at me, told me to fucking do it and laid down underneath me. I knelt over him, pumping myself over and over again until I started to cum. I aimed my dick into his open mouth, watching as the streams of white shot between his crimson lips. I screamed his name as I milked myself until I was empty, he closed his mouth and swallowed, then grinned up at me and pulled me down to kiss him. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, letting me taste myself on him and it was fucking fantastic.

I kissed Jasper for a minute before he started nudging me with his hard cock. My poor boy needed his dick sucked too and I was so keyed up and only too happy to oblige. Jasper sat on the edge of the bed and told me to get on my fucking knees and suck him, hard. It had been a while since he had been this primal, this frantic and I loved it. I hopped off the bed and dropped to my knees in front of him. Jasper plunged his fingers in my hair and yanked my face up, piercing me with his eyes that were full of naked hunger. He took one hand, grabbed his dick and moved it over my lips, telling me to open my mouth. Like a defiant child, I sat there with my lips closed, wanting to see how far he could go before snapping. It wasn't far, he told me to open my mouth or he was going to flip me over and fuck my tight little ass so hard that he would fuck me into next month. He wasn't kidding. I took just the head into my mouth, Jasper told me to open up and let him fuck me.

I sat back on my heels and opened my mouth wide, taking him all the way in and listening to him groan along the way. I could already taste him leaking into my mouth and knew he wasn't going to last long. I was done teasing him, so I hooked my hands behind me, just like he loved for me to do and let him take control. Jasper grunted my name and slammed his dick into my mouth, nearly gagging me with the force, but I opened up my throat and let him go on. He angled his hips up, holding my head and thrusting repeatedly. He was saying my name and 'fuck' over and over again and I was getting hard once more just listening to him.

Jasper's ass was coming up off the bed he was fucking my face so forcefully and finally he started to thrust in shorter, faster strokes until he cried out my name and started to come. I brought my hands back around to the front and pumped him with my hand, until I had consumed every last drop. He fell backwards onto the bed with a plop and sighed out loud. I slowly stretched out my burning thighs and worked my achy jaw, but man was it all worth it. I had this feeling he wasn't going to make it until our wedding night.

I told him to get up and get in the shower with me, we had shit to do. Alice had already called five times that I heard while I was sucking him off and I did not need her knocking on our door in a fit of anger. I shot her a quick text that we would be there within the hour and dragged my boy into the shower. He was so worn out, leaning against the wall while I washed him from head to toe. Jasper might take care of me, but I took just as good care of him. He was my man and I wanted him happy, healthy and satisfied. I was working on the healthy, but the other two I had in the bag.

We met up with my mom, Alice and Mama Whitlock and went on an all day adventure. Alice took us to the florist to look over the orders and confirm that it would be delivered to the Botanic Gardens on the wedding day. She made sure that the florist understood implicitly that any flower that wasn't at it's freshest would be deducted from the final invoice. Next, we went to see the cake baker. Alice finally got to taste the concoction we picked out and she gave us her stamp of approval. Poor Jasper was nervous until she tried it and told him good choice. It was adorable, he was usually so confident but Alice had him under her spell as well.

We had lunch together, it was so nice. Alice said she wanted to be surprised with the photos we picked out and we were glad to have at least one thing that didn't need her approval. After lunch we split up. She sent us for final tux fittings while the girls went to look for a dress for my mother. Alice and Mama had theirs already picked out but my mom wanted hers to match my tux colors and I was thrilled about that.

Later, we all had dinner at our place and both Alice and my mother needed to use the restroom at the same time, so we sent Alice to the guest bath and my mom to ours. When my mom came out, she was holding her hands to her face and had tears running from her eyes. I ran to her, worried and trying to figure out what happened. She pulled both Jasper and me in for a hug and told us the photo on the wall was beautiful and that she was so happy we found such a rare thing as true love. After that, we all had to wipe our eyes and of course Alice and Mama had to go look. They cried when they saw it as well and we couldn't be embarrassed about them seeing it when it made them understand and appreciate our love even more.

When everyone left, we took off our clothes slowly in the moonlight of our room and crawled into the bed, meeting in the middle for a kiss. Tonight I laid down and held Jasper against me, wrapping my limbs around his and kissing his head before we fell asleep.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: Don't forget to put me on author alert so you will get the notice for the wedding and honeymoon, they will not be part of the journal. **

**Reviews hold my hand during the last week, not gonna lie, I was crying a little when I wrote this. I will miss these boys.****  
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	35. March 23, 2010

**A/N: First of all…I think this chapter is going to take this baby to 1000 reviews…that makes me so fucking happy, you guys have no clue!!! OMG! Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. This chapter straight up made me cry as I wrote it…I will miss them so much.**

**The idea for this one had some input by Sugunary…thank you dear.**

**OnTheTurningAway put up with my lazy ass and stayed up until I was done to edit this…I love you so fucking much!! (I had cough meds with codeine, makes me curse more)**

**Disclaimer: I own Onyx Edition Scrabble…SM owns the rest**.

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March 23, 2010

This morning we woke up to the sound of Alice pounding on our door. My sister was nuts, it was six in the fucking morning. I pulled on some lounge pants and stumbled to the door, and when I opened it, she pushed in and told me it was time to get up and get dressed. She yelled into my room for Jasper to put some clothes on because she was coming in there next. When I asked her what was so important that it couldn't wait for a few hours, she told me we were going to breakfast with everyone, Rosalie and Jake included, and then she had schedules and errands for us all to run. Poor Rose and Jake took the week off as well and Alice had jobs for everyone. You would have thought the president was getting married or something.

She told us she would make the coffee and instructed us to get bathed, quickly. I went into my room and closed the door before going into the shower and starting it. After it was hot and ready, I went to the bed and dragged Jasper to the end by his ankles. He was holding onto his pillow for dear life and not wanting to let go. It was funny to watch him act like a baby. I tickled his feet and he kicked his legs and like a child myself, I snickered when his cock flopped around along with his body. I grabbed him harder and dragged him down to the end of the bed, slipped my hands under him and carried his long frame into the bathroom.

I pushed off my pants and walked in there with him, pushing him in front of me. He kept grumbling that he was so tired and wanted to sleep. I took the body wash and started to scrub him,whispering promises of sausage, biscuits and gravy for breakfast. That perked him up a little bit. I took the wash and started to wash myself, when Jasper told me that I forgot to wash his peter. I burst out laughing...a peter? Was he 12? I rolled my eyes at him and tossed him a washcloth, telling him to wash his own peter, that we didn't have time to mess around and if I touched it, we would definitely mess around. There was no way I wanted my sister walking in on me whacking Jasper off in the shower.

We got dressed and met Alice out in the living room. She had her Blackberry out and was typing furiously into her Palm Pilot and I wondered how much caffeine she had already consumed. Alice thrust a travel mug into each of our hands and pushed us out the door as breakfast was at 7AM on the dot. We drove separately from Alice. I had plans for some private time with Jasper. No one was coming between that when lunch time came.

We met everyone for breakfast and it was a bit disruptive that early in the morning. We went to Mimi's Cafe, not Jasper's favorite, but one of mine. Alice and Rosalie squealed when they saw one another, jumping up and down while hugging. It was insane. Mama and my mom sat together, gushing about their dresses and the photo in our room and their future grand babies. Jacob said he heard about the picture and punched me in the arm, telling me now Rosie wanted to get pictures like that, he wasn't too happy about it. When I told him to get over it and be romantic for her, he grabbed me under the arm and messed up my hair with his hand. He was so much taller and bigger than I was, I had no choice but to let him. The guys all sat together, we went over our schedule, glad all we really had to do was go shopping for our honeymoon clothes, get the rings cleaned and verify with Buca di Beppo that all was in order for the rehearsal dinner. In the middle of that I was taking my man on a picnic.

Jasper and I took Jake along with us. We were going to the beach and needed a few new pair of shorts and trunks. Jasper was bound and determined that we were going to spend the entire time naked and skinny dipping. I assured him that the other patrons did not want to see his adorable, yet naked ass. He picked out a few things while scoffing at me. We both got matching khaki pants and different colors of the same style polo shirt for a nice dinner. When we compared, we verified that we would be the best looking duo out there. We sent Jacob to meet Rosalie and we headed to the park.

I had packed a picnic the night before, taking it in the car. Jasper and I parked and walked down to the bike trails to a more secluded part of the park. I wanted to be able to lean over and kiss him madly if the desire struck me. We laid out a blanket and attempted to eat our food but spent more time staring into each other's eyes. We were both so happy and couldn't believe the day was almost here. Jasper reached out and took my hand, pulling me towards him. He touched my face with his long, tan fingers and I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of him. He told me to open my eyes.

When I opened my eyes Jasper told me that he was so lucky to have moved to Washington, because it brought me to him and for that reason he will be forever thankful. He told me that when he saw me that day by my locker, he knew I was meant to be his, that he had a purpose now, to love me and cherish me forever. I let the tears run freely down my cheeks and listened to his words of love. He leaned forward and kissed me, telling me that he would spend the rest of his life making sure I felt loved, wanted and treasured. I opened my mouth and kissed him back earnestly, showing him with my tongue and lips how much his words meant to me.

Jasper laid back, pulling me with him and there we laid, side by side, kissing, touching and reveling in our love. You could feel it moving back and forth between us, it was always there. Whether we were lying quietly in bed or in the throes of passion, that underlying current always connected our bodies heart to heart, soul to soul. After awhile, we sat up and I pulled out our notebooks. Jasper smiled at me and asked how long we had. I looked at my watch and told him we had an hour. We sat back against opposing trees and wrote the last of our vows. I was ready for our life together. Whatever was thrown our way I knew we would be okay as long as we had each other.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: Don't forget to put me on author alert to get the wedding and honeymoon one-shot's. Look at my profile for the presents that Captain Jezebel and Zigster made for the wedding…plus I added more delicious pics that remind me of the journal boys, naked ones (you are welcome).**

**Reviews are like holding my hand through the last chapters…**

**Also PSMW was nominated in the "Professor Jasper Gives an A" category in the" Everything's Bigger in Texas Awards"...go check out the noms and vote please! Link on my profile. Won't let me post here.**


	36. March 24, 2010

**A/N: Oh my goodness you guys…you took this to the 1000****th**** review mark and blew past that! Thank you so much, it means the world to me, really. Now…I cried the whole time I wrote this, for real. I am sick as a dog, drinking cough syrup with codeine and an emotional wreck having to let go of these boys. Don't forget to put me on author alert so you get the notice for the wedding o/s. IMPORTANT! It will post separately.**

**OnTheTurningAway…I love you so much for all you do for me, all the nights you stay up late waiting for me to finish and all the love you put into editing my stories…you are a treasure and I adore you.**

**Disclaimer: I own stuff…SM owns the rest.**

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March 24, 2010

Today was another busy day, as I assumed they were all going to be until the wedding was over and I was on a honeymoon vacation with the love of my life. Speaking of that boy, he was so damn excited. Some of our friends from high school and college were flying in tomorrow for the bachelor party and wedding. I really missed those guys sometimes and a few of our girl friends were coming in as well. We were putting them all up at a hotel during their stay. As much as I would love to have everyone over, Jasper and I did not have the room in our apartment.

Jasper had to head into school for a few hours this morning to tie up some loose ends so that he had everything done before we left on our honeymoon. He had worked everything out with his professors, making sure everything was done for him to be gone. He had one exam to take today and an essay to turn in. When I woke him up, he was not having it. There were some mornings it really annoyed me when he acted like that, but for some reason as the wedding drew near, it made him that much more dear to my heart. Yesterday he had such a rude awakening, that I decided to day I would rouse him with kisses.

I started at his toes and kissed each one before slowly kissing my way up his leg. He wasn't budging. I slowly licked up his hip, over to his abdomen and then started to gently bite my way up to his neck. I could feel his heart beating like crazy underneath my mouth and I knew he was faking sleep now. I crawled on top of him and laid my body on his. He wrapped his arms around me and it felt so perfect there. His heart beating against mine, my cheek in the crook of his neck, inhaling the salty sweetness of his skin, I had to taste it. I licked him in lazy strokes on his throat and I felt him slowly harden beneath me. His arms held me tightly and his hips slowly moved against mine, and I closed my eyes.

We laid there in bed, our hips languidly moving against one another, the inferno slowly building, then Jasper told me to kiss him. I placed my lips on his and he opened up his mouth. It didn't ever matter to me what time of day it was, morning or night, morning breath or not, he was always delicious to me. Our tongues moved as leisurely as our hips. It was a perfect moment when love and lust come together and your whole body goes from an ember to a full blown blaze of white hot heat. It was slow and sweet and when our bodies could take no more, we flew together, soft cries accompanying our release.

When I went to kiss Jasper's cheek, I felt wetness under my lips and I opened up my eyes. He had tears running down his face and I sat up, alarmed. He looked at me, and choking on the emotion of his words, told me that he loved me more in that moment then he ever thought possible. He told me that he could feel my love for him in every action, gesture and touch. He whispered that sometimes he felt like he was going to burst and that when he was alone sometimes, he cried by himself, so overwhelmed with the way he felt about me. He said that he loved me so madly, so fiercely, that it terrified him, until he thought about the way I loved him and then he was okay, because he knew I needed and loved him just as badly.

When he was done, we both had shed a few tears. These last few days were getting to us, our emotions running wild and our love growing deeper. My heart beat for Jasper Whitlock. It had since the moment I saw him and it would until I took my last breath. He was wound tightly into my soul and I would keep him there always. We laid there, in the afterglow of our lovemaking, holding one another and whispering words of love back and forth. He was late to school, but sometimes those things can't be helped. We needed each other, we always have and we always will.

Until tomorrow...

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**Reviews make these last days easier on me…I mean I will still cry, but at least you guys are holding my hands.**

**Please check my profile to look at all the pretty pictures and banners for this fic and the wedding one-shot. SMeadows and Zigster put their amazing banner skills to work for me and Captain Jezebel made a save the date for the boys.**

**Don't forget to vote in the "Everything's Bigger in Texas" Awards, link on my profile.**


	37. March 25, 2010

**A/N: Your reviews…holy crap…made me cry this time…and thank you so much for all the well wishes…I still feel like utter crap, but I will not give in at the end!!! I am stubborn.**

**OnTheTurningAway…thank you for editing my shiz…ILY…word!**

**Disclaimer: I own a fuzzy, codeine-laden head…SM owns the rest.**

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March 25, 2010

This morning I woke Jasper up once again with the promise of food. Yesterday, while he was at school, we got a delivery. I called the restaurant that featured the massive cinnamon roll and found out that they would ship them. I was so excited at the prospect of giving it to him. When I opened the box, I was flabbergasted. The thing was massive, bigger than my head! There was no way that Jasper was going to be able to eat it all, but I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw it. I was going to be his hero for sure.

I told Jasper that if he got showered and dressed in 20 minutes, that I had a surprise for him at the table. His ears perked a little and he asked me if I was going to shower with him. I had to inform my lovely boy that I had already showered, gotten dressed, made coffee and was working on his present. He stuck his lower lip out and started to pull the covers over his head. I nipped that one in the bud real quick by yanking them clean off the bed. He curled his naked ass into a little ball and I tried to contain my laughter. I did not need Grumpy throwing a fit if he thought I was making fun of him.

I called back for him to get his butt in the shower, that I started the timer. When I heard the shower turn on, I pulled out the cinnamon roll and stuck it in the oven to heat up. If it were up to Jasper, everything would be heated in a microwave. I was a firm believer that stoves and ovens were better geared to keeping the food from tasting like rubber. When Sleepyhead finally wandered out to the kitchen, I pulled him into my arms, kissed his sleepy eyes and then his perfect lips. He finally started to act alive, groaning and opening his mouth up to mine. I slid my tongue in for a quick taste of my favorite elixir...Jasper. His mouth was always so hot, wet and delicious.

When I pulled away, he moved his head forward, trying to keep kissing me. I told him to sit and I would get him some coffee and his breakfast. He grinned, patted his tummy and told me to feed him. I poured him a steaming mug of java and then opened the oven. His eyes zoned out when he saw it. He was hypnotized. When he finally snapped out of it he looked at me and asked if it was from Lulu's. When I nodded, he jumped up and kissed me, then sat right back down.

I sat opposite him and watched him while he attempted to devour the butter and icing covered pastry. He cut into it with such enthusiasm, but as the minutes passed, his movements got slower and slower. When he had taken in all he could handle, there was still two-thirds of the cinnamon roll left. Jasper looked over at me, his face a little green from eating so much. I took his hand and led him outside for a walk around the block, trying to help it all settle. Jasper held onto my hand tightly the entire time and when we made our way back to the apartment, he told me he wasn't ready to let go, and we walked around once more. He laced our pinkies together and hummed the song he wrote me while we wandered around the neighborhood. It was the perfect start to our day.

Later on, we rented an SUV and headed to the airport for a few hours. Everyone was coming in within two hours of one another. We sat in a restaurant in the B terminal, which was central to where everyone was deplaning. It wasn't long before all of our friends were together again. From high school there was Mike, Tyler, Angela and Sam. Our friends from college were Eric, Bella and Leah. It was going to be a tight squeeze, but it didn't matter to any of us. We were all back together again and before we knew it, stories were flying and the car was filled with laughter.

We dropped everyone at the hotel to leave their things before we all went back to the apartment. Everyone came over for pizza and beer, even our mothers. Alice, Rosalie and Jake had just as much fun as we did, reminiscing about our school days and the mamas had to cover their ears at some of the stories. There were so many things we had forgotten about. We stayed up well past our bedtime talking and joking and planning the bachelor party. Jasper and I were told that all we were to do was come along for the ride.

We had wonderful friends and we missed them a lot. We sent everyone back to the hotel around 1AM, trusting Mike with the rental and hoping that wasn't a mistake. Everyone else left soon after. When the apartment was finally cleared, I pinned Jasper against the door and kissed him with all the pent-up frustration that was building inside of me. He participated with equal intensity - tongues and lips becoming one. We quickly stripped out of our clothes, being very careful not to separate our mouths for longer than necessary.

Jasper walked us into our room before finally pulling away. I looked at him, wearing nothing but the ring I was going to place on his finger around his neck. The moon reflected off of it and he had never looked more handsome in my eyes. I reached out and touched the ring as he closed his eyes. Whispering that I couldn't wait to slip it on his finger, I kissed the ring, then the finger that was going to wear it proudly. I placed my mouth against his chest and murmured against his skin that my heart was made to love him, then I took him to bed. We laid there, facing one another, fingers intertwined and breaths passing across to one another. Jasper and I fell asleep skin to skin, heart to heart, with forever on the horizon.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: 3 more days…*sobs*…please review and hold my hand, or give me some tissues…**

**Links to the cinnamon roll pics and video from Man vs Food are on my profile. Check them out. **

**Also, voting for" Everything's Bigger in Texas" link on my profile…PSMW is up for an award.**


	38. March 26, 2010

**A/N: OMG…two more days…no! Once again your reviews astound me, hold my hand and help me say goodbye to Journalward too.**

**OnTheTurningAway fixed me up, then I added more, so any mistakes are all mine. Thanks bb…you rock in FW socks.**

**Disclaimer: I own an iPhone…SM owns the rest.****  
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March 26, 2010

Today was one of the most fun days we'd had in a long time. Jasper and I woke up around 8AM, got showered and dressed and headed down to the hotel to meet everyone for breakfast. We really were a rowdy bunch when we all got together, but we were lots of fun. Sam and Jacob were the loudest and they started the round of bachelor jokes that would set the tone for the day.

We split up after that and all the girls went to the spa for massages, polishes and waxes or some shit like that. All I knew was that I was glad I was a guy and didn't have to worry about all that crap. While the girls were getting primped, the guys headed out to the batting cages and arcades. Jasper showed us all how to handle the fast balls and the jokes did not stop for the next hour thanks to Mike's maturity level of a thirteen year-old boy. Since he wouldn't shut up, we stuck him in the batting cages with a helmet and bat and let him go at it. We started it on the slowest pitch and as they came faster, Mike started missing them frequently. When the fast pitch started throwing the balls out rapidly, Mike missed every single one. It was a small victory, but we claimed it.

Next, we did a round of miniature golf. Jacob was an avid golfer, along with Mike and Tyler. They took the time to carefully line up the trajectory of each shot and it took for fucking ever. By the third hole, the amateurs had enough and we moved ahead of them. Jasper and I both got a hole in one and Sam started in on more jokes about how of all the dudes there, we should know how. Jacob would be pleased to know that Sam took care of the jokes in his absence. When we got done with our round, the wanna-be pros were still only half-way done.

The rest of us went to the race track and drove the go-carts until the time came for us all to go back and shower before meeting the girls for dinner and then onto the fun stuff. We all headed back to the hotel, Jasper and I had packed a bag with our stuff ahead of time so we could all get ready together. Jacob ordered pizza, wings and beer from room service and we all feasted on the greasy mess while we took turns getting ready. Mike, Jacob, Jasper and Sam all played Wii. It was hilarious to watch them all bowl and act like it was real. They even got pissed when they missed and Mike started screaming 'turkey' at the top of his lungs when he bowled three strikes in a row.

The time was finally upon us to go have fun, get drunk and be wild. There would be no strippers and we would be doing this together, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Alice had rented a limo to pick us up and take us out on the town. Our mothers stayed home to have a girl's night. When the elevators opened and we filed out, we were met in the lobby by a group of beautiful women. The girls looked amazing in dresses and heels. Jacob swooped Rosalie up in his arms and whooped out loud, telling her she looked gorgeous. I knew it made Jasper happy to know that his sister was adored. I bowed in front of my sister, kissing her hand and then did the same to Bella. I escorted both of them on my arms. Sam took Leah on his arm. There was definitely something brewing between those two and I eagerly watched from the sidelines.

Inside the limo, the champagne flowed freely as we were driven to our dinner destination. The boys were practicing the speeches they were going to make at the wedding reception and Jasper and I were exchanging horrified glances. The things coming out of their mouths were crude and disgusting, in other words, they were being themselves. The girls were singing off-key 80's songs and we all ended up joining in. The limo pulled up at one of our favorite restaurants, Joe T. Garcia's. We enjoyed fajitas and margaritas by the poolside. It was the perfect night for it. The company was wonderful, toasts were made and mariachis sang to us.

We all climbed back into the limo and headed to Pete's Dueling Piano Bar. The party was already going full force when we got there. The drinks were flowing and the bar was singing, clapping and carrying on. It was fucking fantastic. There were people dancing on the pianos, on the stage and singing their hearts out. Jasper and I donned hats that said 'GROOM' on them, but Alice promised that was it. We drew the line at penis necklaces, cups or hats. We had seen too many of those tonight and didn't need to add to the mix. We saw the guys together, all huddled up and obviously up to no good. Jacob walked up to the jar on the piano and put in a large sum of money, then whispered to the player. At that point, we knew we were in trouble.

All of a sudden, Jasper and I were being called to the piano and we were both ready to bolt. All of our supposed friends pushed us up to the stage and the player asked us if we were tying the knot in a few days. We were both flushed red from embarrassment and Jasper nodded. That set off a round of whooping and hollering from around the bar. Our girl friends were all screaming our names and the guys were whistling. The piano player told me to sit in the chair and that when he started to play, Jasper had to give me a lap dance. If he stopped dancing, they would start all over again. Jasper was just drunk enough to agree.

The room got almost silent for a moment, and then the two pianos started playing Rod Stewart's 'Do ya think I'm sexy'. Jasper started to move his hips and away he went. He was dancing in front of me, grinding his hot, sweaty body against mine. It was fuck hot and drove me wild. He got right down in front of me, straddling me over the chair and grinding his hard dick into mine over and over again. The music was loud and his body was keeping in tempo with it. He stood up, turned his back to me and started dancing even wilder, grinding his ass onto me and making me almost cry from the desire pumping through me.

Jasper knew what he was doing when he whipped his body around and laid one on me, right there in front of everyone. I kissed him with wild abandon, thank you alcohol. There were cheers and screams all around us and finally he pulled back and whispered that we needed to get the fuck out of there and I was happy to oblige. He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and walked towards the exit, calling to Alice for everyone to stay and enjoy the show and that we would catch a cab. She winked, nodded and we were out the door.

Jasper hailed the first cab he saw, dropped me in there and gave them the address. He looked at me hungrily the entire drive, reaching out his hand and stroking me up and down. It was pure torture, I was trying hard to be courteous to the cab driver, but he was making it so hard...literally.

When the cab pulled up in front of our apartment, Jasper tossed money in the front, thanked him and once again carried me up the stairs and into our apartment. We were drunk and horny and it was not a good combination. Jasper dropped me onto our bed and laid on top of me, devouring my mouth with his. His tongue moved furiously against mine and he was pulling at my clothes. I jumped up, bound and determined to get naked with him, and quickly removed all of my clothing. I turned around, hoping Jasper had done the same and there he was, asleep in the middle of the bed with his hands on his belt. The only thought that went through my head was 'you have got to be kidding me', but when his light snores escaped his mouth, I smiled.

Leaning over, I took off all of his clothes. Jasper might have been asleep, but there was one very distracting part of him that was wide awake. I ignored the desire to wrap my mouth around him and tucked him under the covers instead. I brushed my teeth, then crawled in with him. I kissed his face, whispered 'I love you' against his lips and fell asleep knowing that he was mine forever.

Until tomorrow...

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**A/N: Really only two more days and then we have a wedding and honeymoon. Please let me know what you guys have thought about this…it has been fun for me. Reviews make me smile through my tears…**


	39. March 27, 2010

**A/N: There were big, fat, rolling tears on my face while I wrote this. I can't believe there is only one left. Thank you so much for all the kind words in your reviews, they really have made this journey a lot more bearable. Please see the note at the bottom, it is important.**

**OnTheTurningAway deserves a huge thanks…she has been with me every step of the way with Journalward and even went above and beyond the call when she did all the editing and posting when I was out of touch. She is wonderful and amazing and I am thankful that writing brought her into my life.**

**Disclaimer: I own pumpkin pj's…SM owns the rest**.

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March 27, 2010

This morning I woke up in the arms of the man I loved and it was a bittersweet feeling. Tonight would be the last night we slept together before the wedding. After that we would be married and have matching rings on our fingers. The thought made my eyes burn with tears. In a few days, Jasper and I would truly belong to one another. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and my face broke into a smile that was not going to go away for the next week. I wrapped my arms around his naked body, pulling him closer to me. His skin against mine sent shivers through me.

The morning sunlight was streaming in through the windows, rays of light danced across his body. His golden skin looked smooth and warm. I wanted to taste every bit of it. I placed a kiss on his chest, right over his heart. My eyes followed the path of the light as it illuminated the light blonde hairs that tapered down his abdomen. Placing my hand on him, I traced every line of muscle on his stomach, before I leaned over to kiss his navel. His skin contracted under my lips and I grinned against the line of dense, blond hair that led to my favorite part of Jasper. Well, it might not be my favorite, but it was definitely near the top.

I stared in awe at this man who belonged to me. He was stunning, truly a masterpiece. There wasn't one part of him that wasn't beautiful. Inside and out he was perfect. I whispered his name, my lips against him, and breathed in the scent of him. I could get high on the way Jasper smelled. No matter what he had been up to, the underlying essence that was purely him lingered. He filled my senses and I closed my eyes to absorb him. Placing my mouth against his hip, I stuck out my tongue and tasted him. He tasted so good and I needed more. I licked a longer line of his skin, moving over towards the middle of his stomach. Jasper groaned my name up above me.

Putting my lips against the side of his belly button, I sucked hard, leaving a faint red mark on his tan skin. I licked his navel in a circular motion, spiraling my tongue around over and over until I reached the center. Jasper's smooth, hard erection was laying next to my face. Turning slightly, I ran my nose along the underside from his balls all the way to the tip and back down. It was satiny soft and warm to the touch. I moved even lower down his body and kissed his sac before licking it with the flat of my tongue. I saw his dick twitch out of the corner of my eye as he took short, deep breaths.

I kissed my way up his cock and nearly came when I put his swollen head in my mouth. Closing my eyes, I moaned around him, savoring the taste of him. I swirled my tongue around the head, then dipped in and licked all the pre-cum gathered inside. Jasper cursed out loud before saying my name. Pulling my mouth off of him, I licked up and down his shaft over and over again. When his dick was wet and shiny, I finally took it inside my mouth and pushed down until my nose was touching his pubic bone and he was down my throat. I could hear Jasper whimpering above my head and I slowly began to move my head up and down.

His fingers wove through my hair and gripped me gently. He moved my head with his hands and I let him take control. He was unhurried in his movements, taking his time, relishing the feel of my mouth around him. Jasper turned to his side and I laid on mine. He moved his hips gingerly in and out of my mouth, whispering my name and that he loved me. My emotions were powerful this morning and I could feel all the love he had for me. It moved around us and infused itself inside of us. I moved my hand around his hip and over the smooth expanse of his ass and held on to him.

Jasper moved in a steady, languid rhythm and I laid there, holding onto him and slid my tongue along his cock as he thrust in and out of my mouth. His strokes became shorter and I knew he was about to go, so I opened up my throat. He cried out my name above me and I felt him spasm inside my mouth before the thick ribbons of cum coated my mouth and I swallowed him down easily. My tongue licked him over and over again until he was done and then he rolled onto his back and I laid my face on his stomach.

We didn't say a word as he ran his fingers through my hair over and over while I traced patterns on his skin. We both fell asleep like that and didn't wake up until it was almost time to get up and get ready for the day. It was one of the best mornings I could remember and no words were necessary, our bodies communicated our love and passion for one another and we relished the silence.

When it was time to get up, I started the shower and took his hand so he could join me. We stood under the hot spray, facing one another and looking deep into each other's eyes. His eyes were bright blue and full of love for me. He wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back and still we never broke our gazes. Our eyes were communicating in the quiet, saying the words that we knew would only make us emotional if spoken out loud. Jasper took a finger and traced the line of my jaw, dragged it across my lips and placed his hand on my cheek. Our foreheads came together in the middle and we both closed our eyes before joining lips. We kissed each other chastely and sweetly. It was pure bliss.

Jasper moved his mouth along my jaw and down my neck, eliciting shivers throughout my body. He pushed my back against the wall as he gently bit down into my skin and I cried his name softly. My body was still buzzing from earlier and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing up against him. I groaned, it felt so damn good. Jasper put his lips against mine and kissed once before parting my mouth with his tongue and dipping it inside. Our tongues slid in long strokes against each other, tasting and reveling in the sweetness of each other's mouth. He ran his hands down the back of my thighs before gripping them tightly and pulling them up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he held me in place against the wall. He continued to ravish my mouth, bruising it with the strength of his kiss. He put all of his feelings into that kiss and I absorbed them into my body.

After a few moments, he pulled his head back and murmured against my mouth that he wanted to feel me cum against him as he started grinding our dicks together. I groaned against his neck and started rolling my hips against his. He kept saying the most beautiful things to me while our cocks moved against each other over and over again. 'Edward, I love you', 'I can't wait to marry you', 'You are my everything', 'You are the best part of me', 'I am nothing without you', 'Your dreams are my dreams', 'You are my forever'. Our eyes were connected the entire time he said those wonderful words and I finally let go and came against him when he whispered, 'I can't wait to make love to you, to be buried so deep in side you that you won't know where you end and I begin...I fucking love you, Edward'.

My heart was full of joy as I moved up and down his body until I was done and when I whispered back that I loved him and couldn't wait to feel him make love to me again, Jasper threw his head back and found his release as well. He held me there, against the wall, until the water started to cool off. Then, we quickly finished our shower and got ready. It was almost 10AM and we were meeting everyone for lunch at 1PM and had a few things to do before hand.

We went and picked up gifts for all of our friends and got something special for our sisters who would stand with us as we said our vows. We got them each a pair of diamond hoop earrings to wear with their dresses. They were going to be so excited, both of our sisters were very feminine and liked pretty things. We got all the guys a flask with their names etched on one side and for the girls we got silver bracelets from James Avery.

We met up with everyone for lunch and hashed out the times for the rehearsal and dinner. We were all going to meet at the gardens at 4:30PM for the rehearsal and then head to the restaurant for Italian food and wine. Alice instructed Jasper to pack his stuff tonight, because tomorrow night he would be staying at his mother's. My heart skipped a beat when she said that. I knew it was always the plan, but I hated to be away from him, even for a night. Alice was coming to stay with me, she knew I would need my hand held, sleeping away from him.

Jasper and I went home and changed before heading out to the gardens. We were having the ceremony outside in the Fuller Garden. It was a secluded spot, so there wouldn't be a lot of onlookers. We wanted it to be private, between us and our friends and families. Jasper and I were both going to enter from the side and meet in the front. There was no way either of us was walking down the aisle. We did a run through and it went very smooth. Jacob stood in front and looked so proud to be officiating. Rosalie and Alice had huge smiles on their faces and our mothers were crying. My dad was supposed to have flown in by now, but there was an emergency at the hospital and he was flying out tonight.

When we had run through everything twice, we headed to the restaurant. When we arrived, they were ready for us and led us all to a round table. It was nice to be able to sit where we could see everyone. We spent the evening talking, laughing and having a great time. A few of our friends toasted us and their little speeches made us all a bit emotional. The wedding was almost upon us and we were more than ready to do this.

When we left, we promised to meet for breakfast in the morning and then do the last minute things that needed to be done. Jasper held my hand the whole drive home and we said nothing. When we got home, he told me to go get ready for bed, he'd be there in a minute. I went into the bathroom and took off all my clothes, brushed my teeth and washed my face. When I walked into our room, there were candles lit in various places. Jasper was standing in front of the dresser, nude. His body always looked so beautiful in the candle light. The flames flickered off the honey hue of his skin and made it look so warm and inviting. He held his arms out to me and I walked into the circle of his embrace.

Jasper started to hum and move with me. I laid my head on his shoulder and danced with him, slowly and steadily. He sang quietly, a song I had never heard before and I knew he wrote it for me. It was all about our love and I let the words wrap around my body as I swayed in his arms. Our bodies were lined up perfectly and our skin touched in all the right places. We were getting married and there would be many more nights being held in his arms.

When the song was over, Jasper picked me up and carried me to the bed. He laid me in the middle and crawled on top of me. He told me he loved me so much and wondered what he did to deserve to be this happy. I told him that I was just as happy so we must have done something wonderful to deserve each other. We held on a little tighter tonight, knowing that tomorrow we would sleep apart. The beat of his heart against mine lulled me to sleep.

Until tomorrow...

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**I have decided to participate in the Fandom Gives Back auction…I am signing up this week and it will be held in the summer. Please keep that in mind if you would like to see maybe a future shot of these boys, an outtake from PSMW or even a JPOV from the journal…I will offer three o/s's at a set price and it is for a wonderful charity. When I get all the info I will put the info on my profile page. **

**If you haven't put me on author alert, please do so. The wedding and honeymoon one-shot will be separate from this. To get the alert, you need to have me on alert.**

**Please review these last two chapters, even if you haven't done so yet and leave some love for these boys. You never know, I may come back and revisit them one day. Not making any promises, but it will be hard to say goodbye. **

**Reviews are like tissues and will help me get through the last post *sobs*.**


	40. March 28, 2010

**A/N: Well, this is it…and I never stopped crying the whole time I wrote it. I am going to mark this complete…as the wedding and honeymoon will be separate one-shots…so if you have not put me on author alert, this is your last warning.**

**A humongous thank you and hug to OnTheTurningAway who edited this every day. No matter how late or how much I dragged my feet she waited for me to be done. She is the best and I love her to the moon and back.**

**Disclaimer: I own tissues…SM owns the rest.**

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March 28, 2010

Well, today was day number forty. As I sat in bed this morning, thinking about the past few weeks, really, time flew by. When I started this venture, I thought that there was no way that I was going to be able to do this. First, I didn't think that there was any way Jasper would ever agree to giving up sex for forty days. He surprised me, stood by my need for this and although he almost gave in a few times, I still couldn't have done it without him. He is and would always be the rock that I leaned on through tough times and easy times.

Looking at the man who slept peacefully next to me, I could say, without a doubt, that I was ready to marry him. For the rest of my life, I needed Jasper's arms to hold me. Whether we were lying next to one another, weathering a storm or making passionate love, I could always count on them to protect me and keep me safe. Leaning down, I placed a kiss on the arm that was thrown around my waist. Golden brown against pale alabaster, the differences in the color of our skin were as obvious as the differences between us. He tightened his arm around me and mumbled something before falling back to sleep.

His long fingers gripped my waist and I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the way they danced along my skin setting my body on fire. Only his touch could do that to me. Keeping my eyes closed, I imagined his fingers trailing down my body, touching every part of me. He always followed with his eyes, watching the trail of goose bumps he left in his wake. I loved the feel of them as they glided across my hip bones teasingly, until he got nearer and nearer and then, when he finally gripped me...oh my god...yes, I loved his fingers. Reaching down, I picked up his hand in mine and kissed each fingertip.

Looking at his face, I smiled. He appeared so innocent as he slept. His hair fell over his brow, and long, brown lashes rested against his cheek. I kissed his nose and he wrinkled his face up before relaxing again. I looked at his perfect, full lips and Jasper was no longer innocent in my eyes. The words he spoke through those lips could bring me to my knees. The way he said my name, told me he loved me, cried out in the heat of the moment or whispered endearments in my ear as we drifted to sleep made me complete. He used that mouth to tease my skin, to kiss, lick and bite all over my body. That mouth had brought me to heights I never thought possible and I tried to calm my body down as I remembered him taking me between his lips and using that mouth to bring me pleasure. Laying down next to him, I kissed those lips that said my name so perfectly.

He jumped slightly when I laid my lips against his and his sapphire eyes flew open. He looked at me, keeping our mouths joined and not moving. I stopped breathing, his eyes were so vivid and held me in place. Still not saying a word, he moved his hand up and traced the contours of my face. His fingers traced my eyebrows, cheeks, jaw and nose. Our breaths were intermingling in our mouths, still touching but not moving. Jasper leaned forward slightly and took my bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it into his mouth. He sent sparks shooting through me and my eyes closed.

Jasper released my lip, and slipped his tongue into my mouth. Mine came out and slid alongside his and we kissed deeply. We tasted every hidden part of each other's mouths, moving slowly, savoring every taste, knowing that tomorrow we wouldn't be kissing until we said 'I do'. We laid there for a long time, kissing, touching, twisting in the sheets and taking our fill. I wanted to touch him everywhere, so I would have the feel of him fresh in my mind when I went to bed alone tonight. I laid him on his stomach and trailed my fingers along the lines of his shoulder blades before kissing from one to the other.

I ran my nose down the line of his spine, savoring the warmth and inhaling his smell. When I got the the bottom, I leisurely licked my way back up to the top. He tasted divine. Scooting down the bed, I ran my hand along the curve of his ass, loving the feel of his smooth skin. I placed a kiss on each cheek before doing something I had been dying to do for the longest time. Placing my mouth at the top of his crack, I licked my down between his cheeks and he groaned and pushed his ass out. There he was, on perfect display for me and I couldn't stop myself from placing my mouth against him and licking all around him. Moving my tongue in circles, wanting so badly to push in, but knowing that was still against the rules.

Finally, when I pulled back, he flipped over and pulled me up to him, whispering in my ear that he wanted to make love to me. I told him he could do that tomorrow, as my husband, and he wrapped me tightly in his arms, telling me that he was going to marry me tomorrow. I smiled into his neck and told him that I most certainly was going to marry him. We sat up and faced one another, draping our legs over each other, joining hands and foreheads. He told me to tell him what I was most excited about. I told him that tomorrow, my name would no longer be Edward Cullen, it would be Edward Anthony Cullen-Whitlock and that meant that I was truly joined with him. I was excited to share names and I was excited to once again be able to feel him moving inside me. As we sat there, I told him that I loved all the ways we found to be intimate without sex, but I wanted him to claim me as his with his body, as my husband.

He looked at me, beaming, and his smile lit up the room. He told me that he couldn't wait to be Jasper Hale Cullen-Whitlock and that he wanted to practice something before the wedding, because if he had his way, the ceremony would go like this.

He held up an imaginary ring and said 'I Jasper,' _kiss_, 'take thee Edward', _kiss_, 'to be my lawfully, wedded husband', _kiss_. He placed his hand on my heart, and murmured against my lips,'to have and to hold', _kiss_, 'from this day forward', _kiss_, 'as long as we both shall live'. Then he pushed me back and kissed me, climbing on top of me and holding me close while he kissed me over and over. His tears were falling on my face and mine were falling onto the bed. This was it, this was love, this was what you read about in storybooks and we were lucky to have it. We loved deeply, passionately, honestly and for eternity. Tomorrow, we would join in marriage and make eternity a reality. The rest of the day would pass in a blur but this morning, in our bed, wrapped up in our love, I would remember for the rest my life.

Until forever...

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**A/N: Don't forget to look at my profile for updates on The Fandom Gives Back…maybe you might want to buy one of the future one-shots of these boys…I will post info as I have it. You are all wonderful and I could not done this without you. The wedding will post in the next 2-3 days and the same for the honeymoon…2-3 days after that.**

**Leave some love for these boys…their journey is over in the journal, but they have a whole life ahead…and you never know, one day…you may get a random pop-up that Edward had more to say after all.**

**Hugs and kisses….**

**Robyn****  
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